Learning to crawl

in pictures! This is for you, Mom. :)

SB 777 - you may want to write the governor

You may not have heard about the passage and signing of legislative bill SB777. Governor Schwarzenegger signed it last Saturday and it was largely ignored by the major news outlets.

SB777 is meant to be an anti-discrimination law, specifically targeted at public school campuses. The concern (which I share) is that in the name of not discriminating against LGTB people, this law creates a situation of reverse discrimination against all who do not agree with the politically correct position on this issue. There are some who fear that this law would allow harassment suits to be brought against parents or students who simply voice the opinion that having "two mommies" isn't a good idea.

Another worrisome aspect of the new legislation is the change in the definition of "sex" to that of "gender" as "sex, and includes a person's gender identity and gender related appearance and behavior whether or not stereotypically associated with the person's assigned sex at birth." (See 210.7 in the bill.) Some worry that this eliminates protections, for example, for girls in a female locker room. What is to prevent a peeping tom declaring himself "female" and waltzing in?

I dislike some of the histrionic reactions that are floating around the web on "christian right" websites. Still, I believe this bill is definitely cause for concern. Read it here and decide for yourself.

It is easy to email the governor, if you are also concerned.

My helper

Jonathan decided he wanted to be my helper today. So all morning I would periodically find something taken out of my hands with the firm statement "this is a Jonathan job". :) He helped me take out the trash, put a new bag in the trashcan, sweep the floors, pick up toys, and wipe up sticky messes. He was so pleased with himself!

I'm quite pleased with him, too.

Time to baby-proof the house!

Re-baby-proof, that is. We're mostly safe, I think, but I want to walk through again and be sure that I'm not missing something that is safe for toddlers but not babies.

Why, you ask?

Because Thomas is crawling! Yay Thomas! We're so proud of you!

Sausage and Pepper Sandwich

We had these for dinner tonight and they were amazing. Better than what you'd pay $10.99 for in a restaurant, and we fed our family for less than $6.


Sausage and Pepper Sandwich

2 medium spicy Italian sausages
1 T. oil
1 green pepper, thinly sliced
1 red pepper, thinly sliced
1/2 onion, thinly sliced
olive oil
salt and pepper to taste
jack cheese, sliced
sourdough hoagie rolls

Cook sausages, covered, in a skillet with about 1/4 cup of water over medium heat. When the water boils away, take the lid off and add the oil. Let the sausages brown and crisp, then slice and set aside. Empty any residual oil in the skillet, then add a small amount of olive oil. Saute onions for a few minutes, then add peppers. Cover and cook until just tender. Meanwhile slice hoagie rolls and place under the broiler for about 2-3 minutes. Cover with sliced cheese and return to broiler for 1-2 minutes. Remove from broiler. Place on plates and top with sliced sausages and peppers/onions.


The sausage, peppers, onions, and rolls all came from Henry's Marketplace, one of my favorite places to shop. :) They have consistently good produce, their bakery is superb, and they have wonderful meats (they make their own sausages and I like them better than anything else I've had). Plus you can get bulk spices there for a fraction of the usual cost.

No, they are not paying me for this promotion. ;)

This is a good week to try them out, though, because they have peppers on sale 3 for $1, both green and red! The sausages are also on sale for $2.99/lb, which is hard to beat.

I finished reading Madeleine L'Engle's "Two-Part Invention: The Story of a Marriage" today. It is a beautiful book; a lovely chronicle of a well-lived marriage. It draws you into their story and at the same time makes you want to live your own story to the fullest. I want to be able to look back, at the end of my marriage, and say with Madeleine that "I wouldn't have missed a minute of it, not any of it."

Reading this now was a challenge, and made me cry more than once. Much of the story takes place woven through their experience in the hospital as Hugh is being treated for, and eventually dying of, cancer. Reading it brought me back to the hospital with Mom, being afraid, not knowing what to expect or how to pray. And it made me confront the fact that some day I may face a hospitalization with my husband. Someday I may have to say good bye. Someday it may be me saying that "it is hard to let go beloved flesh".

I earnestly ask God to give Gabe and I a long, full life together. But I know that no matter how long that life is, at some point one of us will go to heaven first. My marriage vows are "until we are parted by death" and the very vow reminds me that this will, indeed, happen.

I don't want it to happen.

When it does, I hope that we can walk that road with the kind of dignity and faith and love that is evident in Madeleine and Hugh's story. I want to spend my life, my marriage, becoming the sort of faithful, faith-filled partners who can say good bye with sorrow and yet let go gently. I want to live each day, each year that I am given with Gabe, with gratitude, mindful of the gift that is it.

Rainy day

The sky is grey and rain sprinkles down just often enough to make me think twice about heading out for a walk. We are all still in our pajamas - warm and comfortable and snuggly. After breakfast we read stories. And stories and stories and more stories. Thomas even gets in on the action with a board book of his own, although he is more interested in chewing the edges than listening to the story. Who needs to turn pages, anyway, when you can eat the book instead?

Thomas takes a nap, Jonathan has a quiet time and I get to spend some time praying and reading. Then more reading with Jonathan, and a snack, before Thomas wakes up.

With Thomas awake and fed, the three of us sit around the piano while I practice. Jonathan lies underneath the bench and depresses the pedal at random moments. Thomas tries to eat the piano leg and then tries to pull himself up (unsuccessfully) to his great frustration. So ends the rehearsal!

Lunch and hot chocolate (what better on a rainy day!) and Jonathan plays with his cars and Thomas sits on my lap while I blog. :)

At some I know I need to do some chores and laundry. But so far, this morning has been exactly right. Sometimes you just need to put everything on hold and snuggle, and read, and make music, and enjoy each other.

The sounds of our house

Thomas: Rarararararah!!!! Rararrrrr! Rararm! Gggg!


Me: Oh Jonathan, you spilled hot chocolate on your pajamas!
Jonathan: Yes, well, that happens sometimes.


Thomas: Rarrrgurgle!
Jonathan: Thomas, row your boat gently down the patticake bakers man!


Me: *finishes singing a song*
Jonathan: What shall we sing next?
(This one will go on forever, particularly if we're in the car!)


Thomas: aaahhh!!!!!
Jonathan: Thomas, say "Mommy, I dropped my bottle."
Thomas: aaaaaaahhhh!!!!!
Jonathan: Thomas, say "Mommy, I want more food please."


Jonathan (singing): A B C D next time won't you sing with me?
Jonathan: (singing): hm, and hm, hm, and hm, flowing hmhmmm...


Thomas: *giggles* gurgle *giggle*


Jonathan: Mommy, I want to do doey.
Me: I don't know that word. You want to do "doey"?
Jonathan: *giggles* I'm just joking!


Jonathan: Mommy, who loves you?
Me: I don't know, why loves me?
Jonathan: Jesus loves you! because he died on the cross and then was alive again!

Sewing success!

Made all the sweeter by being unexpected. :)

This is my "practice" bag. All the material was from the clearance section at JoAnn Fabrics, because I didn't want to spend a bunch of money on something I was pretty sure I'd ruin. :) But it got closer and closer to completion, and it wasn't ruined yet, so I started to dream about having a very pretty bag at the end.

What do you think?





I'm pleased with the result. And I definitely learned a lot. There is a lot about sewing that you just have to learn with your hands, I think. I can sit and stare at a pattern and at fabric and think and think and think about it, but it isn't until I actually pin and sew that I realize "oops, that didn't work, and now I know what I ought to have done!" All my mistakes this time were fixable, but I spent an awful lot of time fixing them. And then thinking some more. :)

My next projects are (hopefully!) going to be Christmas gifts. My next attempt is going to have some added "features" like pockets. I'm pretty sure I've learned enough from this one to be able to do it well. And the fabrics I've chosen are so pretty, I can't wait to get started!

Being oldest

We had our first major instance of oldest child frustration today. I had put both boys in the kitchen sinks to give them baths and then let them play in the water while I cooked dinner. This worked well for awhile, but Thomas kept trying to either steal the water faucet, or turn it off, not to mention grab whatever Jonathan had in his hand. Jonathan cycled through an impressive repertoire of "please share, Thomas", and "it's my turn, Thomas", and "no, no, Thomas" but to no avail. Finally he sighed deeply, turned the water off himself, and announced "we're all done, Thomas."

I could hardly get them out and dried off, I was laughing so hard.

Sacred Marriage

Jessica loaned me a book a few weeks ago: "Sacred Marriage" by Gary Thomas. The most important thing I've learned from it?

I have a truly amazing husband.

Just about every example of what spouses ought to be striving toward made me think two things:

1) Am I doing this? I should be doing this!
2) Gabe already does this.

I noticed this most in the chapter on serving our spouses. You know what? Gabe does this well. And consistently, which is more than I can say for myself.

So I have some new goals. And a whole new level of appreciation for the man I married.

Technology geek

This morning Jonathan asked to listen to music on the computer. When Gabe went over to help him turn it on, he found that Jonathan had already done nearly everything. He had turned on the computer, opened the zippered cd case and removed a cd (Glenn Gould!), and then opened the dvd tray and inserted the cd into the computer. All by himself. The only thing he hasn't mastered, evidently, is using the mouse to click on the "itunes" icon.

Technology holds a real fascination for Jonathan. Gabe thinks that it may be because it is such a direct cause/effect relationship: push this button and lights turn on, push that button and a tray comes out, push this key and the whole computer shuts down. Whatever the reason, he is becoming very good at it, mostly without being specifically taught. In fact, he taught me which button on the keyboard puts the computer to sleep! He's also very good at using the digital camera, and loves to click through the photos we've taken.

I wonder how much technology is good for him. I don't want him growing up into a preteen (or younger!) who thinks that life begins and ends at the computer screen, and so part of me thinks that two years old is far too young to begin the technology love affair! Still, I can't find anything specific that I think I ought to be doing differently right now.

What do you think, dear readers? How do you handle technology with your own little ones?

That darling second son of mine

said "mama" today. Ok, so it was more like "mamamamama" but still. Jonathan had told me, twice previously, that Thomas had said "mama", but this is the first time I heard it. Yay Thomas!

Hymns and praise songs

I've seen the first part of this before, but the second part was new to me. And the beginning makes me laugh to the point of tears every time anyway. :) Hat tip to StandFirm.


An old farmer went to the city one weekend and attended a large church. He came home and his wife asked him how it was.

"Well," said the farmer, "It was good. They did something different, however. They sang praise songs instead of hymns."

"Praise songs," said his wife, "What are those?"

"Oh, they're okay. They're sort of like hymns, only different," said the farmer.

"Well, what's the difference?" asked his wife.

The farmer said, "It's like this - If I were to say to you: ‘Martha, the cows are in the corn,' well that would be a hymn. If, on the other hand, I were to say to you:

‘Martha Martha, Martha,
Oh, Martha, MARTHA, MARTHA,
the cows, the big cows, the brown cows,
the black cows, the white cows,
the black and white cows,
the COWS, COWS, COWS are in the corn,
are in the corn, are in the corn,
are in the corn, the CORN, CORN, CORN,'

Then, if I were to repeat the whole thing two or three times, well, that would be a praise song."

Coincidentally, the same week, a young businessman from the city who normally attended a church with contemporary-style worship was in the old farmer's town on business. He visited the farmer's small town church. He came home and his wife asked him how it was.

"Well," said the young man, "it was good. They did something different, however. They sang hymns instead of regular songs." ?

"Hymns," said his wife, "what are those?"

"Oh, they're okay. They're sort of like regular songs, only different," said the young man.

"Well, what's the difference?" asked his wife.

The young man said, "It's like this - If I were to say to you, ‘Martha, the cows are in the corn,' well that would be a regular song. If, on the other hand, I were to say to you:

Oh Martha, dear Martha, hear thou my cry.
Inclinest thine ear to the words of my mouth.
Turn thou thy whole wondrous ear by and by
To the righteous, inimitable, glorious truth.

For the way of the animals who can explain;
There in their heads is no shadow of sense,
Hearkenest they in God's sun or his rain,
Unless from the mild, tempting corn they are fenced.

Yea those cows in glad bovine, rebellious delight,
Have broken free their shackles, their warm pens eschewed.
Then goaded by minions of darkness and night
They all my mild Chilliwack sweet corn have chewed.

So look to that bright shining day by and by,
Where all foul corruptions of earth are reborn.
Where no vicious animal makes my soul cry
And I no longer see those foul cows in the corn.

Then, if I were to do only verses one, three and four and do a key change on the last verse, well that would be a hymn."

Mei Tai baby carrier!

I made this myself! It cost about $20 in fabric and thread. It also took quite a lot of hours, but I think that most of that was because I'm just not very good with spatial thinking. It makes my brain hurt and I think very slowly. But I did it, and it works, and I'm ridiculously proud of myself. :)

Toddler perspective

Follow-up: "why?"

Wow, what a helpful bunch of people you guys are! Thank you very much for all the thoughtful (as well as funny!) advice.

After some thought (and conversation with Gabe) I've decided to try two things.

If the "why" question comes after a direct instruction, I'm going to respond with "you may ask that question after you obey." I fully expect this to be followed by "why?" but I can just repeat the phrase until he does it. And then answer. I think having a set phrase may help Jonathan understand - just as the words never vary, neither does the expected action.

If, however, he just has a case of the "whys" in general, once I get tired of them I'll just use "why not?"

We'll see how it goes!

WFMW - Backwards Day! (#2)

Because I have lots and lots of questions. But I'll limit myself to two. I think. :)

Does anyone have a good way to keep kitchen washcloths from souring? And, once they have soured, is there any way to get them "un-sour"? I've washed and washed and washed and hung them to dry for DAYS on the line, but they still retain that sick-sour smell.

Sadly, I'm having this trouble with my new washcloths, the ones that I bought about a month ago because I gave up on my old ones. :(

I do have a little air-dry rack where I hang them when they are wet but not in use. I thought that would help but it doesn't seem to be doing the trick.

Help!

As always, go visit Shannon! :)

WFMW - Backwards Day!

I'm recycling a post from last week because I really want more feedback on the question. Hope those of you who have read it before don't mind! :)

Jonathan, please come here.
Why?
Because we need to get you dressed.
Why?
Because we're going for a walk.
Why?
Because I thought you'd like to go for a walk.
Why?
I have no idea. Never mind.

A few minutes later:

I thought we were going for a walk?
We were, but you didn't want to put your clothes on.
Why?

I'm doing my best to stay patient, but this really is rather taxing. Because this is not an isolated incident - this is my life right now. All day. If he is awake, he is asking me "why?"

Some of the questions are legitimate and have real answers. Some are silly. Some are stalling tactics. Sometimes I think it is just his default word when he can't think of anything to say but must say something anyway.

Does anyone have good ideas for coping with this?


And since I'm sure all my readers are just bursting with good information regarding any number of things, please go visit Shannon and help her readers out!

Clarity

This morning Thomas took a nap and Jonathan had a quiet time at the same time. I took a shower and had a long conversation with God - showers are the best for that because it is quiet.

Anyway, one of the things we talked about was the fact that I've been feeling ill-equipped to mother more children...I feel like I'm barely hanging on with the two I have and I'm very afraid of not being a good mom if I have more kids. So I told God this and said "so if you want me to have more kids, then please, you'll need to help me be more patient and less selfish." (How I hate besetting sins. Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever kill those two.)

But maybe I will, with his help.

The rest of the day I felt like I'd taken off a pair of dark glasses that I didn't know I was wearing. I saw my children with fresh eyes and was overwhelmed with how very much I love them and how glad I am that they are mine. I held Thomas and basked in the sweetness of his smile, and I held him and was grateful that his tears meant that he wanted me. I enjoyed Jonathan's energy and excitement as we played "baseball, Mommy, baseball!" (he held the bat and I tried to hit it with the ball) and snuggled him close when he asked for a "big hug an' a big kiss" at nap time.

I looked at my children today and I saw them as the precious, perfect, irreplaceable gifts that they are. I looked at them and considered another child and dreamed of another little person who could smile at me and cry for me and hold on tight.

I'm not ready for another baby yet. But with God's help I think perhaps I'll get there.

Next time,

this is how I want to have my baby. Only I think I'd stay home and show her off instead of heading to the hospital. Wouldn't that be awesome?!

Common Cause

In the midst of lots of bad, really bad, and even worse news from the Episcopal church lately, there is one really encouraging thing happening. Have you heard of the Common Cause Partnership? It hasn't been nearly as well publicized as the recent House of Bishops meeting, but in my view it is far more important. It is a partnership of nearly all of the splinter Anglican groups, joining together with the intent to create a truly orthodox, unified, Anglican option in America. This kind of large-scale reunification is (to my knowledge) unprecedented. As Jessica said, "Whoever heard of an anti-schism?"

My well-spoken husband wrote about it today, so I shall now refer you to him. And do click through his links and read the actual text of the Common Cause. You'll be blown away.

You have to have a certain sort of sense of humor to appreciate this

But I think it is hilarious.



Thanks to Amy for the link.

Another favorite phrase:

"No! I want to do it myself!!!"

He is such a toddler. :)

Why?

Jonathan, please come here.
Why?
Because we need to get you dressed.
Why?
Because we're going for a walk.
Why?
Because I thought you'd like to go for a walk.
Why?
I have no idea. Never mind.

A few minutes later:

I thought we were going for a walk?
We were, but you didn't want to put your clothes on.
Why?

I'm doing my best to stay patient, but this really is rather taxing. Because this is not an isolated incident - this is my life right now. All day. If he is awake, he is asking me "why?"

Some of the questions are legitimate and have real answers. Some are silly. Some are stalling tactics. Sometimes I think it is just his default word when he can't think of anything to say but must say something anyway.

Does anyone have good ideas for coping with this?

Easy and yummy dinner idea

This is an accidental discovery brought about by staring into the pantry and wondering "what in the world can we eat for dinner?"

What you need:
1 pkg. Lipton Noodle Sides - chicken flavor
1 can diced tomatoes with herbs
shredded mozzarella cheese (jack would probably be good, too)

Make noodles according to package directions (this takes seven minutes once your water is boiling). Drain tomatoes as well as you can, then stir into cooked noodles. Serve and sprinkle with mozzarella.

I actually don't like the Lipton Sides by themselves very much. I had one in the pantry because it was free after a sale and a coupon, and unfortunately we DO have nights when I just can't think of anything to cook. :)

In any case, the end result of this ten minute experiment was good enough to repeat. Watch for Lipton Sides coupons and sales - it isn't uncommon to be able to combine them and get these for free or nearly free.

I promise, you'll laugh.

Really, you won't be able to help yourself.

Lettie, these are for you. :)

The best thing about a garden? Bringing it inside!

Standing up!

No, he didn't pull himself up (this is a little too high for him to do that) but he sure loves standing here and holding on!

He seems to be the strong, silent type.

I'd ask him, but he isn't talking. :)

I know that Jonathan has been precocious in regards to language. And even though I told myself when Thomas was born that it would be different with this very different child, I still sometimes find myself wondering "when will you talk, child?"

At 7.5 months, Thomas is quite definitely the strong, silent type. He smiles a lot, and if he's upset he'll cry and/or squawk, but he just doesn't talk. For that matter, he doesn't really do much cooing. And he definitely doesn't use any consonants. Nary a one. By this age Jonathan had been using consonants for four months, and was starting to say "dada" specifically.

(How do I know this, you ask? Because I have been blogging my children's lives from the very first smile, my friends, and Blogger has a search feature.) :) Speaking of which, do you have any idea how very glad I am that I started blogging? This is the most amazing baby book ever created. I love it.

Anyway, that's the "silent" bit. Now for the "strong": Thomas has learned how to pull himself up to his feet! He's enjoying this new trick quite a bit - at bedtime with Jonathan, while we read his bible story, Thomas will spend the entire time pulling up, sitting down, pulling up, sitting down, using Jonathan's bed rail. And smiling the whole time, of course! Seriously, I think this child will skip crawling entirely, and not for lack of tummy time. He just knows what he wants and he wants to do this his way. Please, and thank you. That is really the sense I get from him...he knows what he wants but he'll be nice about his method of getting it.

I find it so fascinating to see my two very different children develop. It is fun to look at them now, mull over their personality traits and dream about their futures. Maybe Jonathan will be a linguist or a lawyer (you know, he'd be GOOD at that, I bet, heaven help us!) Maybe he'll be a musician. Maybe Thomas will be a priest or a professor or a monk (wouldn't that make his Daddy proud!) Maybe he'll be an artist.

And now a picture of my oh-so-different boys:



Side by side you can see the differences, but the picture to the left is hanging in Gabe's mom's hallway, and if you look at it there you aren't quite sure if it is Jonathan or Thomas. I guess if they're going to be look-a-likes, it is a good thing they are so different. :)

Saints and Icons

Recently I put a lovely framed picture of Mary and the baby Jesus up in my bedroom. It is hanging over the changing table, so I see it often. I've been wanting such a picture for months. I searched the internet for art prints of Madonna and Child, looking for one that captured a sense of reality and peace. This is the one that I found. Isn't it beautiful and restful?



I wanted it to serve as a reminder, throughout my day, to try to be a good mother. Although I don't know much about her day to day life, I do know that she must have been a holy mother. And so I want to pattern my life after hers.

Such were my expectations. Visual stimulus as a reminder to pursue holiness. But it isn't working out quite the way I thought it would. Instead, this picture has become an icon for me.

I'm not generally a fan of icons, although I have a basic understanding of their purpose. And I find much of Marian theology to be somewhat disturbing. So why does it seem that I have a friend in the room? Why do I find myself talking to her (and quickly converting it into a "no no, I mean please God help me to be a good mother") sort of prayer? Why does this seem like a very true reality, although all my protestant training cries out against it?

I spent some time in college studying the idea of praying to saints. Eventually, I decided that I understood the reasons behind the concept and didn't think there was anything wrong with doing so. I didn't think there was any clear reason to think that they could hear us and/or interced for us; then again, there was no clear direction that they couldn't. I was drawn to the thought of prayer to saints being like talking to our friends, since death is no longer a barrier to those in Christ. But I never felt any real desire to talk to them - they seemed remote from my life.

Mary doesn't seem remote anymore. She seems like a friend, like Jessica or Ashley, who has worked her way through this life that is motherhood. She knows the joys and the sorrows of raising boys. I don't believe she was born without sin, so I think she probably knows the difficulty of being patient with whiny children, and the frustration of wishing for silence when it is nowhere to be found. She spent hours doing laundry, and making meals, and breastfeeding her children. And since God found her worthy to be the mother of his Son, I think she probably did it all with grace, and love, and patience.

I want my life to look like that. And if this picture can be a prayer window for me, if talking to Mary can help me become more like Jesus, then I think I'm glad my picture is an icon.

Another really thought provoking post

from Jen. Should we want to be sexy?

Head on over to Et Tu and join the conversation. Be sure to read the comment string, because there is some really good discussion happening there.

More on birth interventions

I started to write a comment but it got ridiculously long. Plus I wanted to clarify a few things for everyone, not just the comment readers. :)

Here goes:

Jessica, I believe that the study was comparing low-risk stats out of hospital to low-risk stats in hospital. I.e. they excluded the high risk hospital births so that they'd be comparing apples to apples. I absolutely believe that high risk births should be in the hospital.

For that matter, (rebecca) any woman should have a right to a hospital birth (as pain free as possible!) if she so chooses. My concern is not with hospitals, per se, but with the routine use of unnecessary (and often inherently risky) tools such as cytotec, augmentative pitocin, episiotomies, etc.)

Regarding lawsuits: I wonder how long it will take for the suits to start going the other way. For example, there was a case back on the east coast recently where a woman sued for an unnecessary c-section that ended badly, and won. Given that there are a lot of risks associated with c-sections, (not to mention cytotec inductions, episiotomies, etc.) that simply aren't talked about these days, I wonder if there will eventually be a backlash and return to a more laid back approach to childbirth?

Interventionist birth: the new normal

Anyone who knows me, or has been reading this blog for very long, probably knows that natural childbirth is something I care very much about. So I was fascinated by this article, which discusses the "new normal" of interventions in birth. Induction, pitocin to "speed things up", artificially rupturing membranes (again, to "speed things up"), episiotomies, forceps, often culminating in an "emergency" c-section, have become the new normal.

But it doesn't have to be this way. The article notes that during Hurricane Charley (back in 1994) the c-section rate at Florida Hospital Heartland Medical Centre dropped from 29% to 17% (and only 6% if you exclude the scheduled c-sections from the data). Why? Because the power was out, and although the hospital had a generator, it was limited. So women were told to go back home until they were in active labor. When they were admitted to the hospital, they had their babies within hours and with minimal intervention.

The article also refers to a 2005 study (yes, this is the full study) published in the British Medical Journal, that looked at over 5,000 midwife-attended low-risk births. 12% of those babies were sent to the hospital; only 1/4 of those for urgent reasons. The cesarean rate was less than 4%. No mothers died and 1.7% of babies the babies died either during labor or in the next thirty days...which while incredibly tragic, is comparable to low-risk hospital births.

So why do we, as a nation, accept so many interventions? How did this become the new normal? Back in the 40s and 50s, there was a trend away from anesthetized births and toward "natural" (un-medicated but still in hospital) births. In the 70s and 80s, the use of midwifery for home births soared, only to crash in the 90s. Twenty years later our national c-section rate is pushing 1/3 of all deliveries and interventions such as pitocin augmentation are so routine they are sometimes given without even asking the mother's permission.

What happened? And why? And where should we go from here?

Please do discuss, but keep it nice, ok? This is a hot topic and I don't want to have to moderate my comments. :)

Hat tip to Amy for the link to the original article.

Life before kids

Jen over at Et tu? is always good for some serious thinking. She's also often good for a nice long chuckle. This post will give you both. Here is a bit from the beginning (and trust me, the end is even better so you really should go read the whole thing.)

What I miss about not having kids...

The travel? Nah. Living in a little loft downtown? No. Being able to sleep in on weekends? Certainly not, I relish every waking moment with my precious children, even if it's first thing in the morning! (I'm lying. I do miss that one.)

Anyway, the events of the past 24 hours have made me realize that there actually is one thing that I really, really, miss about my life before children: having this whole parenting thing all figured out.

Now go read the rest! :)

Useful hobby

A very long time ago, my mother attempted to teach me how to sew. I was a terrible student, but I did learn some basics. And I wore the final result of her tutelage - a lovely rayon skirt - through college. But I hadn't actually sewed much of anything (other than the occasional button!) since about 7th grade.

Some months ago Jessica started teaching herself how to sew. When she first started talking about it, I thought, "well, that just isn't me" and forgot about it. But she's made lovely cloth napkins, and dresses for her daughter (dresses! and they're cute!) and a mei tai baby carrier that I have used on occasion and is wonderful.



How I wanted a mei tai! But I don't sew, you see. So I looked into buying one.

Mei tais cost about $70. I decided that I'd better reconsider learning to sew.

And now I think that the sewing "bug" just may have bit me. Because it is fun! And more than that, it is useful! My first "project" (mostly just to get the feel of sewing back in my hands) was to zigzag stitch the edges of all our cloth diapers. They've been wearing thin and I wanted to make them last longer. I only messed up one of them, and the rest of the three dozen are going to last significantly longer because of my work.

Then I went to JoAnn Fabrics to pick out material for a mei tai. While we were there, Jonathan discovered the most wonderful fabric in the world: "Mommy mommy mommy! John Deere tractors!"



So instead of embarking immediately on the mei tai, I spent yesterday and today working on a pillowcase for Jonathan. See? Useful!



And he is oh-so-happy about it! Of course, I probably could have bought a plain white pillowcase for him for less than the $12 that I spent on fabric and thread, but I couldn't have bought the joy (for him or for me). Besides, it gave me more practice before actually sewing the mei tai (which is definitely more complicated.)

See? Yikes.



Oh, and today I actually fixed a rather important $70 undergarment, instead of giving up on it and buying another one. Surprisingly, it took about ten minutes, which comes out to $400 an hour. Not a bad hourly wage, eh? ;)

I'm having such a good time. After the mei tai, there is a skirt that I really want to try making. I found a truly gorgeous fabric on a "just looking" trip with Jessica that is just crying out to be sewn into something beautiful, and found a pattern online that is exactly what I think it should be. It is next on my mental list.

Jessica, I'm glad you're braver than I am and made the attempt first. I don't think I would have tried this now without your example.

And Mom, thanks for teaching me how to sew. All those frustrating hours (for you!) may just pay off after all.

Our life in pictures

Lately Jonathan has been playing with our small plastic farm animals. I actually just got them out for Thomas, but Jonathan is enjoying them the most!



He did this all by himself!



Autumn and Hunter come over occasionally to play. Autumn LOVES playing with "Baby Thomas".



This particular day I had worn them out! So we all collapsed on the couch with books to recover.



Sometimes Gabe and I will take the boys down to the pool to swim. It isn't our favorite thing to do because neither Gabe nor I are crazy about the water. That alone wouldn't be such a problem; the real issue is that Jonathan, who begs and pleads to be taken swimming, will very often refuse to get in the water. "You do it, Daddy." Poor Daddy!

Still, we do sometimes succeed in getting both boys into the water. Thomas enjoys it if he's not too tired. And Jonathan is slowly but surely (with lots of good encouragement from Gabe!) getting more comfortable in the water. Sometimes he'll even "jump" off the top step into Gabe's arms! And last time Gabe taught him how to kick his feet behind him while held up (and very very safe!) on Daddy's chest. He's such a good Dad - even in the things that he really doesn't like doing!



I should re-nick-name this kid "smiley". If he's not tired or hungry or sick, he's usually smiling.



And he's out! This is Thomas' method of choice for falling asleep. I go in after he's quiet and take the diaper off his face. :)

Peek-a-boo!

September 11th

I've been trying all day to put into words what I think today, the sixth anniversary of the 9/11 attacks. I couldn't do it. I read lots of "I remember" posts around the blogosphere, but most of them seemed to fall flat. I do remember, and I want to remember, but simply saying "I remember" feels trite. We've been "remembering" for six years, and it seems that not much has come of it.

This evening I read my sister's post. She says exactly what I wish I'd been able to articulate. So please go read it. It is very, very good.

Say what?

The other day I told Jonathan that Hunter and Autumn were coming to play that afternoon. A bit later he happily told Gabe that "Huntum and Otter" were coming over. :)

Amy

Amy was diagnosed with leukemia in July of 2006. If you have a minute, go read her faith-filled blog entry about her diagnosis. She, her husband Brandon, and her little son Gary have spent the past year in and out of hospitals, diligently seeking remission and health and life.

I started reading her blog some months ago and was overwhelmed by her faith in the face of a great fear - not dying, for as she said, that was her "easy part", but of leaving her family to have to go on living without her.

We wanted to raise our son, to grow old together, but God has different plans for our family. And as much as we don't understand them right now, we know that He is sovereign over this as well. Please pray for us, and for my family especially. My part in all of this is rather easy. I get to die and be with my Savior in glory. I get to miss out on all the suffering this world holds. It is my family who bear the grief and the pain day in and day out. It is for them that my heart breaks.

Hold your loved ones a little closer for me today. Live life a little more -- wear your dressy clothes around the house just because life is really short and stains don't really matter. Don't get impatient about the little things.

Someday we'll understand why.

Amy fought the good fight, and today she finished her race. She is rejoicing in her Savior's arms now, but Brandon and Gary are going to miss her so very much. So please, take a few minutes today, and tomorrow, and and next month, and pray for them as they grieve.

You can read Brandon's recounting of Amy's last minutes with him. Also, Shannon has a really nice remembrance posted.

Show of hands...

who thinks that this is real?




hat tip to Kim at Life in a Shoe.

He has a mouse?

This afternoon Jonathan and I were reading a a story about Mr. Mouse. The picture of Mr. Mouse in a car elicited the following comments.

Jonathan: "Oh look, a mouse!"

Me: "You’re right. Do you think that mice really drive cars?"

Jonathan: "Mm hmm. Mine does."

WFMW - Brand Loyal Edition

I've been (in)conspicuously missing from Shannon's Works For Me Wednesday carnivals lately, mostly because I ran out of interesting, bloggable, things that worked for me. At least, I ran out of ones I could think of quickly. :)

But this time I have a GREAT one.

I am usually the least "brand loyal" person around. I will buy the spaghetti sauce that is on sale, with a coupon, doubled. Thank you very much. So when Jonathan was born, I bought the socks that were on sale at Target. And then I tried the socks that were really cheap at Walmart. After that, a basic package at Kohls. Oh, the frustration! Those silly cheap socks weren't worth the money (little though it was) that I paid for them. Either they were too loose and they'd slide right off his kicking little feet, or they were too tight, cut off his circulation, and and left sock band imprints around his tiny ankles.

Then when he was about six months old, someone gave me a belated shower gift that included BabyGap infant socks. And it was love. They were soft. They didn't slide off his feet. They didn't leave ugly painful red marks on his ankles. They had anti-slip grips on the bottom. They were perfect.



They are $2 EACH, and I have to make a special trip to the mall to get them, but we haven't bought our socks anywhere else since.

P.S.

This is also why I generally don't get around to memes, even though it gives me warm snugglies to get tagged. ;) So thank you, Laane - I'm sorry I can't play along right now!

Phases

Both of my children are in "phases" right now. As in "I hope this is a phase and a short one too!"

Jonathan had his first public tantrums last week; three in the space of four days. This is calling for some decided thought and creativity on my part as I try to anticipate, redirect, and (unfortunately) handle the results of said tantrums. It is a lot trickier than I had considered.

Thomas is, I think, highly frustrated with his lack of mobility in a very mobile family. Crawl, child, crawl! He wants to be carried a lot right now and if I put him down and walk away he has developed a very loud, very carrying, very obnoxious grunting/squawking sound that has a similar effect on me as that of nails on a chalkboard. Well, it is effective, I'll give him that. :)

On a more positive note, both kiddos are also blossoming in beautiful ways at a truly amazing pace. Jonathan seems to be having another language explosion. His sentences are becoming quite complicated, and he's experimenting with a lot of new grammatical construction. The results are sometimes funny, but he's getting better by the day. Sometimes Gabe and I will just look at each other and say "did he really just say that? Our two-year-old?"

Thomas is starting to add "lalalala" and "yaya" sounds to his previous cooing. I'd forgotten how much fun this stage of language development is.

My mother just mentioned that I may have forgotten to post about the result of our potty training experiment. It worked. :) Jonathan is now in diapers only for sleeping. He has occasional accidents, but they are usually my fault rather than his (as in: "Mommy, pee's comin' out" followed by "oh dear, hold it, um, while I find a bathroom, after I pay for the groceries, um, can you make it until we're home?") :)

Computer time

I'm finding blogging time to be seriously limited right now. Mainly because of two things: children and...ok, just one thing.

When Jonathan was younger, he would get upset if I sat down at the computer. Now? He wants his turn. We've actually had to set up a 15 minute "computer time" rule - he gets to sit at the computer once a day to look at "trains and airplanes!!!!!!!" (thank you, YouTube!) and when that time is up, it is up. :)

It is strange to me to have this be an issue with my two-year-old. It makes sense, I suppose, since Jonathan sees Gabe working on the computer all the time, and I spend a fair amount of time there, too. Still, it is something I hadn't thought I'd be dealing with until he was quite a bit older.

In any case, since I'm limiting Jonathan's time, I think it is only fair to keep my time on the computer limited as well, especially when he's awake and aware of it. So if I owe you an email, I am oh-so-sorry. Perhaps I'll get to it in 2023.

Nonsense

Lately Jonathan has taken to spouting nonsense words. I think he's just playing with sounds, having fun with it. It makes it a little trickier for me to know when I ought to be listening to him, though!

A few days ago he said something while we were driving in the car (not the easiest place to hear him). I turned off the a/c so I could hear better and asked "Jonathan, what did you say?" He thought for a minute and then said "Mommy, I'm just talking nonsense."

Sleep stuff

Well, sleeping is still rather hit and miss at our house. But it is improving. Thomas occasionally goes to sleep, in his crib, without crying at all. (And there was much rejoicing!) More frequently he'll cry for one or two (sometimes three) five minute cycles before falling asleep. Sometimes when he wakes in the night he'll fuss back to sleep quickly. Sometimes he wants to be nursed but then goes back to sleep in his crib. Infrequently (e.g. last night) he'll cry and cry and cry and nurse twice before finally drifting back to dreamland.

If you'd caught me yesterday (after a full, uninterrupted night's sleep) I'd have said things were rapidly becoming peachy. Since I'm typing this today (after a short, very interrupted night) I'll say we're definitely improving. :)

Keep praying, will you? I'm a much better mother when I get enough sleep.

Back seat driver

Yesterday evening I took the boys to Downtown Brea to play in the fountains. Does anyone else think that they look remarkably like upside down toilet plungers?



Maybe it is just me.

On the way there I had the radio on, listening to the news, until I realized that Jonathan was talking to me. I turned it off and asked him to repeat himself. He said "we're goin' to the Brea fountains! Go straight, Mommy, and then turn." I thought he was just making conversation, so I said "ok, we'll do that. You tell me when to turn." Of course, I didn't think he actually would. But as we came up the the turn onto Brea Blvd, Jonathan got very animated and said "Mommy, mommy, turn!" And after we turned onto Brea, J repeated "now go straight and then turn," which is exactly how you get to the fountains.

I've noticed for some time that Jonathan has a very well developed sense of where he is when we're driving in the car. In fact, if I tell him we're going to place X and then change plans or want to stop at place Y first, he'll get very worried and ask why we're not going to place X. He knows where he is. But I didn't realize he could actually give me directions!

I never said I was rational...

particularly on night after night of disrupted sleep.

I took Thomas to the pediatrician today for his six month check up. At the top of my list of things to discuss: sleep problems. Dr. Miyamoto listened sympathetically, answered my questions as to why (why why WHY???) was this happening, and then asked me how badly I wanted to be able to sleep again. I'm guessing my face told him the answer, but I added "this can't go on" for good measure.

His advice sounded fairly middle-of-the-road as sleep advice goes. He's not a cry-it-out advocate, but he doesn't think the parents should just deal, either. His recommendation:

1) get rid of the pacifier and definitely don't nurse him to sleep.
2) put him down sleepy
3) don't rock him - basically don't do anything that you don't want to have to do again in the middle of the night.
4) lay him down and walk away.
5) if he cries, come back in five minutes. Pick him up and snuggle him for about 30 seconds, then lay him back down and walk away.
6) repeat until he's asleep.

I don't like this advice, because I don't like listening to my baby cry. And I have a nagging feeling that I'm not being a good mom if I let him cry at all, ever. It may well be that I've simply read too many attachment parenting books...but that is how I feel. Good moms don't let their children cry alone. Good moms do something. Good moms don't mind never sleeping more than an hour or two at a time.

I'm afraid I'm not a good mom, at least by those standards. So today for Thomas' afternoon nap, we gave it a try. I turned on the "night night" cd (the same one we used for Jonathan), laid him in his bed, and gave him a diaper that smells like mommy (we lay it on the bed with us when we nurse). And I walked away. And he cried.

But while his wails began as WAHHHHHHHH!!!!!

By the time five minutes had passed (with me standing by the door, waiting for the clock to say I could go in and comfort him) he was sounding more like *hiccup* wahh *hiccup* wah wah *hiccup*

And I was pretty sure that going in would simply rev him up again. So I didn't. He was asleep at T plus 8 minutes.

And I feel rather betrayed. Here I am, trying so hard to be a good mom, rocking him, nursing him, snuggling him, sleeping with him, and getting very little sleep myself, and as soon as I give up and go with a method that makes sense but doesn't feel right...off to sleep he goes.

I'm glad he's sleeping. I really, really, hope that it works tonight too! But I wish that a method that felt right instead of "necessary and logical" had worked, instead.

I told you I wasn't rational. Maybe things will look better in the morning?

Menu Plan Monday

My menu isn't particularly interesting this week - no new recipes - but at least I have a plan! Given the way the last 5 weeks have gone, this is a serious victory. (Thomas has been waking us up every hour or two during the night, which leaves me finding it very hard to care about, oh, anything, during the day!)

In any case, here it is:

Monday: marinated/breaded baked chicken with mashed potatoes and salad
Tuesday: homemade pepperoni/pineapple pizza (Trader Joe's crust - yum!)
Wednesday: nachos with taco meat, beans, cheese, and tomatoes
Thursday: ravioli with alfredo sauce and brocolli
Friday: tacos (using leftover taco meat from Wednesday)

It may not be fancy, but it will taste good and no one will be hungry. :)

For more interesting menus than mine, visit Laura's site!

Ich Liebe Dich

This morning I've been preparing for teaching today's voice lessons. I'm considering assigning a piece by Beethoven, to be sung in German, but I wanted to be sure that I had the pronunciation correctly (you know, before I teach it). :)

Being a true product of the age, I checked YouTube for a performance.

Unfortunately, I had forgotten that YouTube is a multinational phenomenon. And so instead of finding a performance of Beethoven's art song, I found lots of scantily clad girls telling their (boyfriends? I assume?) that they love them.

Perhaps I'd better warn my student NOT to look this piece up online!

Car wash

Did you know that there is a car wash inside Jonathan’s tummy? He assures me that there is. He drinks water so that there is plenty to wash the cars, and the cars are very small and drive in through his belly button.

Weary wheels

I just settled Jonathan in his bedroom for his afternoon nap. He climbed onto his bed, and as he lay down he sighed, "I must rest my weary wheels."

Bonus points to anyone who can tell me which story that is from. :)

Neighborhood playmates

One of the things that I love about living here is the fact that we have neighborhood kids. Directly across from us live Phillip and Marcos, ages 10 and 7. I never would have expected that boys that age would care about a two-year-old, but they do. So much so that when I tried to keep Jonathan out of their way (thinking he was annoying them) they showed up at my door asking "can Jonathan come out and play?" Jonathan LOVES them and they will happily play together for hours. Sometimes Joshua and Andrew from a few houses down will join them as well, and oh, the yells of delight that ensue! They play ball and frisbee and ride on skateboards (they taught Jonathan how, sort of!) and ride bikes (Marcos pushes Jonathan on his tricycle) and dig in the dirt and make mud puddles and draw with chalk on the pavement. And even when all four bigger boys are playing together, they always watch out for Jonathan - making sure that he can keep up, doesn't get hurt, and follows the rules I've laid out (thus far and no farther - I have to be able to see you!) I'm impressed with their maturity, and grateful that we live in a place where they can play safely. It is nice to be able to say "go outside and play with Marcos" while I'm making dinner! More than that, I'm glad that Jonathan has kind older children to play with and learn from.

Miscellany

This morning during quiet time, I heard Jonathan crying. This is highly unusual, so I hurried in to investigate.

Me: Jonathan, why are you crying?
Jonathan: I'm crying because my pants won't stay on my legs.

Usually I take his pants off during quiet time to make it easier for him to use the potty. Today I had left them in the room with him and he was doing his best to put them back on!

************

He's awfully good at language, but there are still definitely some hang-ups to work on...

We're taking some friends of ours to the airport today. Jonathan is excited about this, and keeps asking when we get to go. My response: "After Mr. Ian comes, then we'll go to the airport." About two minutes later, Jonathan asks, "Is Mrs. Anna here yet?"

Help!

Back when Thomas was a newborn, he slept through the night (5+ hours) very early. And I counted my blessings and thanked God for an easy baby. :)

Unfortunately, he's making up for lost time now. Gabe and/or I am being awakened at night about every 1 to 2 hours. When morning comes it feels like I haven't slept at all. This is not sustainable for much longer, and I need suggestions.


Here are the facts:

- Thomas nurses about every five to six hours during the day (supplemented by solids).

- I'm nursing him about twice each night right now, about every four hours. This was a decision prompted by feeling like a human snack bar all night when these night wakings started some weeks ago.

- If he wakes before about four hours have passed, we simply give him his pacifier, re-swaddle him, and rock him back to sleep. It generally takes five minutes or less. The fact that this works leads me to think that he's not really hungry.

- The problem is not that he wakes up and stays up, it is that he wakes up so frequently that Gabe and I can't get any deep sleep.

- Thomas' naps during the day are still not quite solidified, although generally there is a morning nap and an afternoon nap. I'm working toward making those more consistent.

Ideas? Better yet, tried and true solutions?

Projects

Last Saturday was the day for Project Eradicate Mold. Due to leaky pipes, particle board cabinets, and probably other reasons that I'm sure we'll discover later, our lower cabinets had become rather detrimental to healthy living. Something had to be done.

We emptied everything out of the cabinets, bought four spray cans of Kilz, and covered the particle board surfaces. Then we turned on a fan and aired out the house and crossed our fingers.

It smelled like paint. Then it smelled like...nothing. Blessed, blissful, nothing. If you've ever lived with a kitchen that smells like mold for months and months, you'll understand just how wonderful this is. :)

Anyway, today was Project Put The Kitchen Back Together. I don't have the "before" pictures (trust me, you do NOT want to see our moldy cabinets anyway!) but the "after" results are quite pleasant. I put down pretty shelf paper:



And reorganized everything. I'm actually really glad for the impetus to reorganize, because I'd been living with some badly planned layouts and I'm much happier with the new ones. See? Clean and tidy!



I can actually reach everything now. I'm anticipating getting more use out of the wok, now that I can see where it is.



And I moved my baking sheets, muffin cups, etc. over to the hutch cupboard. I'd been bemoaning the fact that I didn't have a tall skinny cabinet for them, and then realized that I did have a tall cupboard. Creativity abounds here, oh yes. :)

I like projects like this. There is an ugly beginning, and a messy middle, but an oh-so-satisfying end result.

A good morning

The past few weeks have been rough. I've felt lost and sad and very far away from God. It has been difficult to be a good mom, because I've been using so much energy trying to stand up against all the overwhelming circumstances.

But. His mercies are new every morning. Yesterday in church I think God directed me to a particular passage: Matthew 11:29. "Take my yoke upon you...for my yoke is easy and my burden is light." It was just the encouragement that I needed. God's purpose is not to grind me into the ground with a burden I cannot bear. Although life may feel like that sometimes, that is not his intent. It was a good reminder and more than that, it was good to feel that God was listening to my cry, that he heard me, that he was not far away and inaccessible.

And this morning I feel lighter. Hopeful. Even happy. All four of us went to a coffee shop for breakfast and the boys were pleasant while we had coffee and bagels. I wrote a note to a friend. Then the boys and I went for an exercise walk (and chat!) with my good friend Jessica. After that we filled the car with gas, went to the bank, and did the week's grocery shopping. Thomas is down for a nap, Jonathan has had his quiet time, and we're about to make lunch. With some luck I might get a nap and get some chores done this afternoon.

And if I don't? Well, God loves me whether my house is clean or not. :)

Mom's recovery update

Mom has written a final post at Sandy's Recovery. It is pretty incredible to see how far God has brought her. She's at a point now where regular updates aren't really necessary anymore - hurrah! Your continued prayers are, of course, very much requested and appreciated.

If you've been following her progress, please go leave her a comment!