The past few weeks have been rough. I've felt lost and sad and very far away from God. It has been difficult to be a good mom, because I've been using so much energy trying to stand up against all the overwhelming circumstances.
But. His mercies are new every morning. Yesterday in church I think God directed me to a particular passage: Matthew 11:29. "Take my yoke upon you...for my yoke is easy and my burden is light." It was just the encouragement that I needed. God's purpose is not to grind me into the ground with a burden I cannot bear. Although life may feel like that sometimes, that is not his intent. It was a good reminder and more than that, it was good to feel that God was listening to my cry, that he heard me, that he was not far away and inaccessible.
And this morning I feel lighter. Hopeful. Even happy. All four of us went to a coffee shop for breakfast and the boys were pleasant while we had coffee and bagels. I wrote a note to a friend. Then the boys and I went for an exercise walk (and chat!) with my good friend Jessica. After that we filled the car with gas, went to the bank, and did the week's grocery shopping. Thomas is down for a nap, Jonathan has had his quiet time, and we're about to make lunch. With some luck I might get a nap and get some chores done this afternoon.
And if I don't? Well, God loves me whether my house is clean or not. :)