Nesting when you can't quite pull it off

This has got to be one of the most frustrating things I've experienced in pregnancy so far. I'm nesting. Boy am I nesting. This evening I cleared out a junk collector on our counter that has been there since Gabe and I were married, and he looked at me like I was nuts. Ok, so the circumstances of this particular bit of clutter clear-out probably lent themselves to his conclusion. Maybe. :)

But I'm not really nuts, honest! I'm just nesting under the worst of circumstances. I have all these projects and clutter clean-ups and housecleaning that I desperately want to accomplish, only I have no energy, and two children who can clutter the house faster than I can pick it up. So I have this running list in my head: re-organize the bookshelves to make use of the new one, clear out the closet and reduce the junk that I've been keeping around since grade school, get the house really clean before the baby shows up and I won't have time to do it anymore (I have time now?), weed the garden that has been woefully neglected for the past three months, clean out the car, make freezer meals for when Josiah arrives, clear off all the surfaces that collect junk (where does it come from??) Oh, and while I'm thinking of it, finish working on the photo albums which are still about two years behind.

See what I mean? The end result is the most frustrating feeling of impotence. I think I need a mother's helper next week. Anyone want to volunteer?

And of course I love this...

She wears her baby to work! :)

Sarah Palin

So much is being said about Sarah Palin right now, and if I had all the time in the world I'd be right there adding to it. Since I don't, let me just say that I am totally, utterly intrigued. And I'd like to point you to some interesting commentary.

Peggy Noonan is always worth reading, and has written some very pithy thoughts on the convention and the VP choice. My favorite quote:

I'll tell you how powerful Mrs. Palin already is: she reignited the culture wars just by showing up. She scrambled the battle lines, too. The crustiest old Republican men are shouting "Sexism!" when she's slammed. Pro-woman Democrats are saying she must be a bad mother to be all ambitious with kids in the house.

BeldarBlog is new to me, but I am impressed by the (very early!) insight into Palin as a possible candidate with McCain.

Elizabeth (In the Heart of My Home) makes some interesting points about Sarah Palin's dual roles as Mom and politician.

She's a complex, full woman, who is clearly confident in her varied roles. She's a nursing mom in her forties who wears her baby to public speaking engagements. Her family looks very much like the big families I know. It was obvious just in the short time we saw them how they are all interconnected to meet each others' needs. My daughters recognized themselves in the teenaged daughter cradling the baby. And though I have no aspirations to ever be in politics, I could identify with this woman and her abundant life.

Then she defends her first post with strength and grace:

We need to come to our senses. Christian women who are threatening to stay at home instead of voting for a woman who has a baby and growing family are really missing a valuable point.

And all that was before her defy-everyone-who-said-she-wasn't-ready speech last night!

Commentary on that from Jonathan Martin was interesting reading (does anyone else read any of his political commentary? I find it fun and informative.)

Already falling for Palin, the delegates were ready to elope by the end of a speech that was rollicking, feisty, fun and impeccably delivered.

Danielle Bean (a Catholic writer whose thoughts I enjoy) has pulled together a variety of responses from around the Catholic blogosphere. The comments that follow are also interesting.

The observations about the Sarah Palin nomination that I found most interesting were those that had nothing at all to do with abortion, the environment, gun control, the war, or typical politics of any kind. They were the ones that had to do with motherhood. More specifically, whether a mother of five children, one of whom is still an infant, has any business seeking the vice presidency.

And I'll leave it there for now, except to say that I'm spending an awful lot more time caring (and reading) about the election now than I was before Sarah Palin entered the mix. Before, I was going to vote for John McCain because it was a vote against Obama. That is no longer the case. And if I, as the busy and tired mother of two-almost-three, can get interested in the election, I'm betting that there are a lot of others like me who will get excited, too. Will it be enough to get McCain into office? I don't know, but you can be sure I'll be paying attention and enjoying the ride!

To sleep or not to sleep, that is the question...

Actually, that isn't the question. The real question is how to make sure that all members of my family get the proper amount of sleep, given that we all want it at different times of the day/night.

Thomas is in the process of giving up his morning nap. He still needs it about every 2-3 days, but the process is definitely begun. Thus on any given day I never know if he will need to sleep at 9am, 10am, or 12:30pm. And then the question of an afternoon nap needs to be answered as well (if he slept in the morning he'll need another nap at 2pm or so; otherwise he won't get sleepy until too late to nap, and he'll be cranky and need an early bedtime.

Jonathan always has a morning quiet time (ever since he gave up his morning nap) and is currently in the process of giving up his afternoon nap entirely. Right now we're mandating a second quiet time on the bed in the mid/late afternoon, and he falls asleep during this time about once every 3-4 days.

Mommy wishes she could do nothing but nap, all day, every day.

Then there is night sleeping.

Jonathan is our night waker. He has always had a rather strange manner of sleeping at night (since he was very young he has awakened extremely early in the morning) but it is getting really bizarre now. Last night was somewhat typical: I woke up at 12:30am to find the light on in the family room. Jonathan was back in his room, asleep again, but at some point between 10:30pm and 12:30am he had gotten up and (I discovered in the morning) retrieved the 2.5lb block of cheese out of the fridge, taken six bites out of it, and thrown the rest in the trash. (You can imagine how very happy this made me.)

At 4am I woke up to find the light on in the family room, and Jonathan sitting on the couch, guiltily eating yogurt pretzels (which he knows quite well are treats that he is not to get for himself!) I informed him that it was the middle of the night and helped him back to bed. He got up for the morning sometime between 6:15am (when Gabe left) and 7:30am (when Thomas and I woke up.)

I have absolutely NO idea what is going on with Jonathan's night sleep (or lack thereof). If anyone has ideas, please let me know.

For napping, I'm also finding myself somewhat at a loss as to how to balance the differing needs of the family members. Right now, of course, we're just in flux and it is just going to be hard for awhile. But it seems like we're moving toward nap needs that just don't coincide well. If Thomas needs one mid-day nap, and Jonathan needs a morning and an afternoon quiet time, is there any way for Mommy to get a rest, too? Also complicating things: when in the world do we do errands, or take Jonathan to preschool, or visit with friends, if we're bound to the house by three different nap/qt needs?

Please don't remind me that I'm about to have a baby who will almost certainly not fit into any schedule whatsoever. Or that I'm about to lose my very precious night-time sleep. I might cry.

36 weeks

I'm officially in the home stretch - the final month (ok, maybe the final 5 weeks). But I can see the end more clearly now, and I'm finding myself doing a lot more thinking about the upcoming birth, as opposed to current aches and pains. Although trust me, there are plenty of those, too. :)

Some days I'm supremely confident. Some days I cry myself to sleep because I'm so scared. As my midwife pointed out, both make sense. I can be reasonably terrified of labor because I know what to expect. Whoever said that you forget what pain feels like apparently hadn't ever given birth. I remember just fine. But I can also be reasonably confident because I have already delivered a baby and I know that I can.

This baby is in a perfect position - head down, tiny butt centered above my belly button, anterior, and as of two days ago, dropped quite low into my pelvis. Somehow the very centered-ness of the baby is helping me feel more centered myself. I'm finding it easier to imagine him more-or-less gently emerging into the world.

September is crammed full of busyness. A wedding, a trip to Oak Glenn, Thomas' surgery, a meeting in Los Angeles, something else I can't remember right now, and all the usual daily things that need to get done. At some point it might be a good idea to get out some baby clothes, too. :) I looked at my calendar recently and thought "I did not plan this well!" because we are so busy that no matter when Josiah decides to show up, it will probably disrupt something! Still, in some ways I'd rather be busy and let things be disrupted, rather than clearing my schedule and waiting for a baby who refuses to show up. :)

As always, I'm having tons of contractions that really don't bear a lot of resemblence to the "painless tightening" described in the books as Braxton Hicks. When they're spaced far apart I remember that I'll likely have an October baby. Today they're about ever 15 minutes and I start thinking "well...?"

We'll see. I certainly wouldn't object to an early baby, although THIS early might not be so good. I'd rather get through Thomas' surgery first!

This is a rather rambling post, but that is the state of my brain right now so I'm afraid it is what you get!

Interesting

A kinder, gentler c-section? I wonder under what circumstances this would be used. Scheduled surgeries? But usually women aren't in labor (and thus having contractions) if the surgery is scheduled. Emergency sections? Aren't those supposed to be, you know, emergencies? I'd like to read more about this, so if anyone else has more info, please comment and let me know.

Hat tip to pushedbirth for the link.

Kind of creepy

He's just a man, people!




Hat tip to StandFirm.

Overheard

"Thomas, hear the siren? Should we pray for the people who are hurt?

Dear Jesus, help whoever is hurt; speed the paramedics on their way, amen."

Just like the Olympians

A few days ago we were watching some Olympic diving. Jonathan climbed up on the coffee table, jumped off, and proudly informed me that he was diving into the pool "just like the Olympics!" Then he paused a moment and added, "But I don't land on my head."

Suggestions needed!

I am trying to find a water bottle for Jonathan. He's getting too old for sippy cups, but obviously regular cups don't work well in the car! I'm looking for something that is:

1) BPA free
2) Smaller than usual (maybe about 12-16 oz)
3) Does not have a "sippy" lid (Nalgene's Grip n Gulp is not what I want)
4) Will not leak
5) Dishwasher safe
6) Pretty much indestructible :)

Any ideas for me?

Maybe, just maybe, I'm growing up?

Yesterday could have been a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. It certainly started out that way. I was tired when I woke up. I had far more errands that needed to be done than hours to do them in between nap times. And somehow I was supposed to go to church, too!

Thomas woke up late from his morning nap, leaving us just barely enough time to get to mass. A tantruming child made us very late, and realizing that we had no gas left in the car made us late beyond repair. By the time we got to the freeway, the service was almost over.

So instead we went to the mall to start our errands. Shopping for nursing bras with fussy children in tow is NOT a good idea when you're already on edge. I ended up yelling at Thomas and giving him a spanking that, in retrospect, he didn't deserve. Not my finest parenting moment. In fact it was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad moment.

That was when God intervened. I had been reading Brother Lawrence's Practicing the Presence of God in the mornings, and in the midst of everything, I remembered. I'm supposed to talk to God, and when I sin, simply tell him so and that I can't do any better without him.

Oh. Right.

I prayed while I gave the kids a snack, vowed (to myself) that there would be no more yelling, and then discovered a nursing bra that fit. Not only that, there were three available, on sale for buy 2 get a third free. And I had three coupons, all of which the saleslady applied to my order. So instead of hours of frustration and spending a small fortune (which I'd been stressed about), I walked out in about 40 minutes with everything I needed for only $22. (This also meant that I didn't even have to walk in to the other two stores I'd been planning on!)

I'm pretty sure God was intervening there, too.

And then instead of racing off to our next errand, I took the kids over to a fountain and we had our picnic lunch there, and then we went to See's Candy for a treat, and then to the other fountain, and then we went home.

As we got into the car I gave Thomas a hug and apologized for losing my temper with him. I doubt he understood (or even remembered), but it was important just the same. And Jonathan and I had a good talk about asking forgiveness on the way home.

Most of the errands that I had planned to do didn't get done. The one that did, only did so with a hefty dose of God's help. But instead of having a stressed out, angry, awful day, we ended up making some memories and learning about forgiveness.

I think that maybe, just maybe, God is growing me up a little bit.

Like children

This morning I woke up to Jonathan, singing at the top of his lungs, "God made us, and we are HIS, God made us, and we are HIS!!!" Just a moment ago he ran in from playing outside to ask "Mom, Mom, did you hear me singing the B-I-L-I-E?" (He means B-I-B-L-E, but I haven't been able to convince him of this fact yet.) :) Indeed, I had been listening to him, practically shouting from the rooftops that he stands on the word of God!

Sometimes the simplest things can be the most profound. Sometimes the best reminders come from three year olds.

"Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven." - Matthew 18:3

Ordinary moments

It is easy to think that the ordinary moments that make up our day to day life don't matter very much. Jenn reminds us that while it might just be an ordinary moment to us, we should consider our words and actions with care because someone else may remember it forever.

Many of you may not read Jenn's blog. You should change that. She posts infrequently, but it is worth RSS-ing for when she does post. She writes thoughtful, reflective, make-you-examine-your-life posts that are always worth your time.

Obama, abortion champion

Regardless of what I think of Barack Obama's other policies, his stance on abortion truly makes me ill. Consider his proclamation (made in July 2007) that as president, "the first thing" he will do is sign the Freedom of Choice Act, which would remove all federal and state restrictions on abortion. All of them. Consider his argument that babies born alive after an abortion procedure should be left to die. Never mind that they are living, breathing, humans that could be saved given medical assistance. It is hard for me to believe that anyone in his right mind could think this; Obama apparently starts from abortion and end up at infanticide.

Most people, whatever their view on abortion, agree that the Constitution at least guarantees the rights of born and living human beings. Barack Obama does not agree. For him, the Constitution exists primarily in order to guarantee the right to abortion, and other rights of human persons — born and alive — are secondary. Beginning with abortion rights as his premise, he draws as his conclusion the unfortunate but necessary legality of infanticide.

Read the rest of David Freddoso's excellent article, and then consider carefully whether a man's positions on healthcare, wars, or the economy can make up for his intent to destroy the helpless in the name of "choice".

Children's literature

Some of you may have read my husband's blog. At least, you might have read it until he stopped posting on it months and months ago. :) But be not dismayed, because there is a new post up, and it is a good one - a list of favorite children's literature. If you have small children or are thinking about having small children in the future, it is worth checking out. My husband has very good taste. :)

I love NBC!

Has anyone else been watching olympic coverage on nbc's website? I am loving it. Instead of having a tv on constantly, trying to catch the bits that you care about, you can just search for what you want to see. And there it is, with only minor commercial time, and you can pause it. No missing the perfect floor routine because your child has a meltdown. No spending eight hours a day ignoring your children! I think they must have designed this for mothers. :)

Why I don't like "making friends" at the park

I took the boys to the water park in Whittier today - a spur of the moment trip that just sounded fun. It didn't turn out to be as much fun as I had hoped. You see, there were a few other families there, and unfortunately, they didn't have anything like the same standards for their kids as I do for mine.

Initially I was happy to meet the mother camped out on the bench next to me. She is also pregnant (with her fourth) and due just a few weeks after me. She also mentioned, while introducing her children, that they all were named after saints. "Great!" I thought, "they're probably a nice Catholic family!"

Well, (nominally) Catholic they may be, but they certainly weren't nice.

The mother was friendly, but her language! And I hadn't brought a book or a magazine, so I couldn't be "occupied" and discourage her chatter. A bigger problem, though, was the way her children treated mine. Jonathan came running back to me in tears every few minutes because one of her children had thrown something at him, or kicked water in his face, or told him that he couldn't play. Three year olds just don't understand this kind of thing - he was so incredibly sad about it and there wasn't a good way for me to explain it to him. The frustrating thing was that the other mom sat and watched this all happen, and all she ever did was scream "stop it!" at her kids, along with various swear words. As I'm sure you can imagine, they paid no attention whatsoever.

We ended up leaving early, which also made Jonathan sad.

I came home sad about the whole encounter, and very grateful for the good friends we do have. I am so glad I'm not trying to navigate a generic community mom's group. There is much to be said for shared values in choosing your and your childrens' friends.

On primates and holy orders

Conversation between Gabe and Jonathan:

Gabe: "We're going to a monastery."
Jonathan: "Who's going to be there?"
Gabe: "Monks."
Jonathan: (incredulous pause, then with great excitement) "MONKEYS?!?!?"

Maternity fashions

While I'll admit that there are some very cute maternity clothes out there, doesn't it seem like they're mostly designed for pregnant 17 year olds?

Well, Veronica agrees with me, anyway. :) And her post on the topic is, as usual, beautifully written (not to mention hilarious)!

Letter to ACOG regarding VBAC

Birth is very much on my mind these days, as I'm probably less than two months away from delivering. I'm reading a lot, thinking a lot, and praying a lot. So please don't be surprised if I start posting more on the subject. :)

Today I want to bring your attention to the best letter writing attempt at policy change that I have ever seen. A woman named Amber wrote to the president of ACOG, politely, respectfully, and with incredible study documentation as back-up, requesting that ACOG change their highly restrictive policy on VBACs. Her original letter (complete with citations), ACOG's response (short, unhelpful, and full of misinformation) and her response letter (again, with citations) is posted here and should be read in its entirety. This woman is smart and I hope that more women will follow her example in pressuring the medical leadership in this country to actually use facts in their policy making.

Even if you've never had a c-section, or never yet given birth, this is still valuable information. You don't know (well, I certainly didn't!) when you might find yourself needing to know more than the doctor is telling you.

When you do read it, (and you're about to, right? Right?) start at the bottom of the page and work your way up. I'm not sure why they posted the letters in the order they did, as it is rather confusing, but just realize that the first letter is at the bottom of the page and the last is at the top.

Hat tip to pushedbirth for the link!

Housework

Does anyone else feel like housework, with children underfoot, is a battle that is utterly unable to be won?

I do.

Today I was determined to vacuum the living room. You wouldn't think that this would be such a difficult task, but apparently it is. I think I picked up the floor three or four times today, in an effort to get it cleared and ready to vacuum. Somehow, by the time I got from one end to the other, the front end was a mess again, even when I was trying to involve the kids in the process! Something would come up that needed attention. Or the children who were happily playing outside had to be brought in because the painters arrived. Or it was lunch time. Or a child flipped out and needed discipline. You get the picture. The end result was a mommy in tears, placing both children none-too-gently on couches with books and a few toys, and informing them that they were NOT. TO. MOVE. before the vacuuming was finished. Which tactic actually worked, but made me feel like Tyrant Mom.

Today just hasn't gone very well. The kids have been cranky because, frankly, I haven't been paying as much attention to them as I usually do. I've been trying to do some basic housework that hasn't been done for far too long. Things like vacuuming. And wiping down the bathroom. And sweeping the floors. Things that I used to do on a regular basis without too much trouble. Things that ought to get done in order to maintain a basically sanitary living environment! So what IS it that is going wrong?

Objectively, life is very different now from the last time I really felt like I had housework and children balanced and under control. The last time I thought that was, well, right about a week before I got pregnant with Josiah. (This does seem to be a pattern with me, doesn't it? Get life under control and decide that it would be a great time to add pregnancy into the mix!) Now my children are older, and they need nearly constant "policing" so that they don't try to kill each other (how they can go from happily playing together to whacking each other on the head in .002 seconds is beyond me!) Jonathan is at that happy stage of needing me to tell him what to do (and then do it with him) all. day. long. And my poor pregnant body is, quite frankly, so tired that vacuuming the living room gives me contractions for the next twenty minutes and makes me want to lie down for the next twenty hours.

Come to think of it, maybe it makes sense that I'd be having trouble with housework and raising kids right now!

I just wish I could figure out an answer, a way to make it all come out right at the end of the day, every day. As it is, some days are pretty good (like yesterday, when we went to the water park and I thoroughly enjoyed myself and my kids) but those are also the days when the house gets ignored. More often than not I do just ignore the house, but it doesn't take much of that to make it an unhappy place to live (at least for me).

There just has to be a better way to do this, right?

Now would be a good time for all you lurking readers to come out of the woodwork and say something encouraging.

Tongue tied (UPDATED)

Yesterday was Thomas' appointment with Dr. Jahng (an Ear, Nose, and Throat specialist/surgeon) to determine if his speech delay is being caused by a short frenulum. The verdict from the doctor: yes.

I liked the doctor. When I called for an appointment they scheduled it for the next day. We arrived on time and were seen less than five minutes later. The doctor was kind, gentle, competent, and readily answered all my questions. Although the referral from Thomas' pediatrician stated that they had ruled out hearing issues, Dr. Jahng checked his ears anyway before even looking at his tongue. I appreciated the thoroughness.

So the diagnosis is speech impairment due to Ankyloglossia. Dr. Jahng treats this by doing surgery under light general anesthesia. This worries me a bit - general anesthesia in a 17 month old just sounds scary - but he says that it is safe. He does not treat this condition by "clipping" the frenulum in office, because he says that doing it that way risks worse problems due to improper healing (fusion of the two parts, etc.) Surgery allows him to take his time, do it right, and suture both sides to minimize risks of future problems. This makes sense to me.

Part of me wants to say "we love our pediatrician, who referred us to Dr. Jahng, who seems entirely competent, so let's go ahead and act on his recommendation." This is especially true since tongue-tie runs in the family (Gabe is tongue tied, spoke very late, and feels that it affects his speech even now) and Gabe feels that it would be best to free Thomas from that difficulty. I'm also leaning this way because it seems rather awful to just leave a bright child frustrated and unable to communicate well because of a condition that is very fixable.

Still, this surgery is pretty controversial, at least in the world of the internet. Look it up and you'll find LOTS of people against it, including doctors who think that you should "wait and see", as the child may outgrown the condition by age six. Age six? What about talking? I don't think I can cope with a preschooler who communicates via signing and "nanana AHHHHHH!" Then there are the doctors who say that it has absolutely nothing to do with speech impairment, and that two year olds who are tongue-tied and don't talk are just going at their own pace. I'm not sure I buy that idea, especially given Gabe's history.

Sigh. Surgery is scary, and I can definitely understand not wanting to subject your child to it if it isn't necessary. It's just that tricky question of "necessary".

The referral paperwork is in process right now. Gabe and I will probably discuss it some more, but at this point I'm guessing we'll go ahead and do it.


Updated to add these links because I found them the most helpful:

Bandolier: Evidenced based thinking on healthcare: Ankyloglossia

Tongue-Tie: from confusion to clarity

Modeling

Toddlers and preschoolers don't miss a thing. Gabe and I realized this quite awhile ago, and have been actively working to be sure that we are modeling the types of things we want Jonathan and Thomas to do. Sometimes this works really well; when we hear sirens Jonathan always asks to pray for the people who are hurt, and nearly every evening he wants to pray for the homeless people (we keep gift cards on hand to give out when we encounter them). Sometimes it backfires on us; last night Gabe was singing to himself from Dr. Horrible's Sing-along-blog until he realized that Jonathan was singing at the top of his lungs: "the birds are singing, cause you're gonna die!" Um, yeah, not quite what we were going for, there.

An example that made me happy today occured while baking an apple pie with Jonathan. He loves to help cook and bake in the kitchen, and he's starting to become slightly less hindrance and more help. :) Today I started teaching him the difference between tablespoons and teaspoons, and variations thereof. He thought that was lots of fun. Anyway, what made me happy was that right after we put the pie into the oven:



he asked for a sink full of soapy water "to wash the dishes". And then he proceded to do just that!



It's a little thing, but it is just one more example of how how carefully he copies what we do. And this particular "little thing" makes me glad that I generally wash the dishes right away!

Good modeling is hard work, and sometimes I despair of ever succeeding. (I suspect Gabe does, too, which may be why he tends to pray for grace to cover over our failures as parents!) Still, it is good hard work, and it is fun when it works, even in the little things.

Lambeth

It is easy to get bogged down in all the drama of the current Lambeth conference. Just trying to keep up with StandFirm's coverage makes me tired and rather cranky (possibly having to do with the fact that it is utterly impossible to do - too much news!) Besides, it is sad to see the turmoil of my church broadcast wholesale across the global news media.

So as you read this, please remember that I do take these things seriously. But sometimes, you just have to have a good long laugh.

"Lambeth indaba" is an anagram of "damnable habit."

See? Don't you feel better now? :)

Hat tip: StandFirm, where else?

Ooh, ooh, look!

I think this is my favorite item I've made so far. Isn't it purty? Click through to see more pictures and get the full effect. Makes me wish I was having a girl, just so that I could keep it!

Ultrasound

I'm particularly enjoying sites like this one since I'm pregnant enough to really start thinking about this baby as a little person. Not that he wasn't before, of course, just that it is all becoming a lot more real since I spend much of my time shoving his little body parts down out of my ribcage. :)

Speaking of ultrasounds, last week we had a second ultrasound because I wanted to know for sure whether this child is Josiah or Katie. Last time the tech said "It's a girl! No - it's a boy! No - looks like a girl - no - boy - I think - yeah, I think that's a boy..." Which was reasonable, since that was back when I was only about 19 weeks along. But this time I was 30 weeks along, so I was expecting some settled confirmation. The results? "It's a boy! No - maybe that's a girl. It's hard to tell because the legs are crossed and the umbilical cord is in the way. But it sort of looks like a boy. Why don't you come back for another next week just to be sure?"

So Josiah, if you turn out to be Katie, I hope you don't mind being dressed in blue!

Pray for Elena

She's working on delivering her fourth child...and has been since Friday. She's getting some breaks (it is start and stop labor) but this is an awfully wearying way to have a baby. So please pray that God will intervene and that she'll have this baby SOON and with a minimum of difficulty.

And then after you pray, go read her humorous (as always) takes on labor. :)

Heehee!

Tired of standard election sound bites? This is equal opportunity hilarity. :)

8pm and all is well

And the kids are in bed! Gabe went out to dinner with a friend this evening, so it has been a longer day than usual. I'm tired, but pleased with the way the day went. Since my last post we have washed, cut up, and frozen two trays of peaches, eaten lunch, and washed all the dishes (a clean kitchen - yay!) Both boys helped with a whole-house pick-up, motivated by the promise of a movie. You know, they are getting REALLY good at helping - we got an awful lot accomplished in about ten minutes. The house looked lovely and it was too hot to play outside anyway, so I figured the movie was more than in order. Besides, I was tired. :) After the movie, popsicles! And then a sink bath for both boys (popsicles create an automatic need for a bath around here.) Naptime for the boys, while I swept the floors, read a book, and sewed for awhile. Then cooking pudding (with little boy assistance) for dinner - we had fruit and pudding for a dinner treat - yum! Outside playtime for the boys while I vacuumed their bedroom and did a bit more laundry, then we all picked up the toys and did their bedtime routine.









It is kind of fun to catalog a day's events periodically - it gives me some good perspective to realize how much good stuff we really do around here. So I didn't get my desk cleared or call the insurance company or do a few errands...so what? We had a good day, full of good play, good food, good work, and good learning together.

And since I'm primarily a mother, rather than a secretary, I'm pretty sure this is exactly what we ought to be doing.

10am

We have made, eaten, and cleaned up after breakfast. Dressed everyone and changed a few diapers. Read stories on the couch, dug weeds in the garden, and picked strawberries. Cooked said strawberries into jam, and along the way made strawberry-yogurt popsicles ("but I want mine WARM, Mom!!") Drew chalk outlines and trekked lots of dirt into the kitchen - perhaps sweeping is next on the list?

Now we're all enjoying some well-earned rest time.

I have high hopes for the rest of the day. This morning went so well because I planned it. I had ideas written down (so I wouldn't forget them) of things we could do any time the boys started antagonizing each other. Fun things, but also things that needed to be done (those strawberries really had to be picked today!) Maybe after naptime we'll see if sweeping the floor can be made into a game, too. :)

Mommy, what are we doing NEXT?

I hear those words all. the. time. Sometimes I have an answer, sometimes I don't. Sometimes (usually when it is the 7th time I've heard that question in an hour) I look at the sweet child asking and think "I could cheerfully send you to your room for the rest of the day". Well, I suppose "next you're going to sit on your bed for four hours until Daddy comes home" is one sort of answer!

Probably not a good one, though. So, dear readers, save my eldest son from such a fate. How do you respond (or how do you think I should respond!) when small children need a constant stream of entertainment?

Keep in mind that he can't read - he's only three - and he's a very active kid. Telling him to sit on the couch and look at books just doesn't work. Neither does reminding him that something fun is happening soon - soon just results in more whining. Ideas?

Things we're doing

A week ago I cleaned out my pantry and discovered that I had a few cans of pumpkin that needed to be used. So yesterday, Jonathan and I made a pie! Doesn't he look pleased with himself?







Thomas continues to be intent, focused, and somewhat introverted. While Jonathan fills my day with questions of "what are we doing next?", Thomas can frequently be found flopped on the floor with a book or the computer keyboard.





Playdough is always fun - especially making a new batch!



Apparently Jonathan has reached the "if you try to take my picture I'll make weird faces" stage. It takes serious ingenuity to capture a smile that doesn't look like this one. :)



Notice what hat he's wearing, Sarah? Both boys have decided that wearing baseball caps backwards is the thing to do. We're sure that this is the precursor to open rebellion when they're teenagers.



My worries that Jonathan might be colorblind have evaporated in the past month, as Jonathan suddenly figured out ALL his colors (even unusual ones). A current favorite activity is sorting puffballs by color.



Both boys really enjoy playing the piano and "singing". Thomas sits decorously, turns pages, plays gently with his fingers, and quietly sings "la la". Jonathan, on the other hand, turns singing into an extreme sport. His "la la"s leave him as out of breath as if he had just run a race. Right about now I can relate that that gasping for air aspect of singing!



Gabe is such a good Daddy. He comes home from work each day and cheerfully plays with the kids. This day Jonathan requested CandyLand. Thomas just thought it was fun to have Daddy lying on the floor - the better for jumping on!



We've been enjoying gardening this summer, as well. Jonathan often helps me water, and Thomas thinks that pulling heads off the flowers is "helping" as well. We're working on that! I have a huge patch of daisies that provides fresh cut flowers on a daily basis. Look how cute this one is!



I don't have a photo for this one, but Jonathan's interest in coloring has exploded. He is using washable markers now, which makes him feel very grown up. He's becoming more capable of coloring within specific sections of his pictures, and cares enough to make the attempt. He's also quite imaginative, and will add "extras" to his coloring sheets. Yesterday he colored a picture of a backhoe and added plenty of extra dirt inside the bucket. This morning he informed me that he needed a picture of a dump truck to color, because the backhoe needed a place to put all that dirt!

Sometimes it seems like I spend all my time trying to come up with specific things to do with Jonathan. Perhaps Thomas is getting short changed - poor second child! But then I remember that Jonathan is, well, older. When he was 17 months old I wasn't bending over backwards doing preschool with him, either. :) I think that for the most part, Thomas enjoys just being around us, doing whatever we're doing at his own level.

Really interesting article

Especially if you've ever wondered "how in the world can you be think and be pro-choice?" Jen (who also blogs at Et Tu) writes with extraordinary insight, having personally moved from being a pro-choice atheist to being a staunchly pro-life Catholic. Read it here in the National Catholic Weekly.

The downside to business cards

I hand out business cards to people and at venues which I think are likely to actually want slings and baby carriers. One of these venues was a MOPS boutique sale which I participated in. I'm glad I did, because I met some nice people and got some orders, which was incredibly encouraging to this budding entrepreneur...but I just ran headlong into the downside. Lots and lots of people have my phone number.

I just got a call from someone who claimed to be another vendor at the same MOPS sale. I don't remember her or the other girl she mentioned, but it is likely she's telling the truth. Maybe I did meet her there. Regardless, I don't understand why she thought I'd want a sales call from her about Melaleuca products.

I'm usually pretty good about saying "no thanks" and hanging up on sales callers, but this one seemed harder somehow because she gave the impression that we'd met and talked. So I felt bad just cutting her off. So I listened. And made noncommittal noises. And fumed.

From her explanation of this fabulous new business, I got a very, very bad feeling about it. It sounds awfully similar to a pyramid scheme. So much so that while I listened to her, I looked it up online. I am definitely not the only person who thinks it sounds fishy. While it may, perhaps, barely skate by on the legal side of things, it is certainly not something I'd ever want to be involved in. As far as I can see, MLM "businesses" are pretty much just pyramid schemes with a few products thrown in, just to keep their salespeople annoying.

Gosh, I hate being "sold" on things. No, I don't want your products. No, I definitely don't want to pay $29/year for the privilege of buying your products. And I really really really don't want to try to strong-arm everyone I know into buying into this scheme as well, so that I can make a profit off of their misfortune. Sheesh.

It is disturbing to me how many of the "businesses" that are billed as perfect for the stay-at-home mom seem to be built on this idea. A really good article on the topic can be found on Brain, Child's website, specifically here.

I'm curious to know if any of my readers have been (or currently are) involved in any of these kinds of businesses (specifically ones which include "down-line" associates), and what your experiences have been. Just please tell me that you don't collect other sellers' business cards for the purpose of irritating them with sales calls later. :)

Sheesh.

I'm raising artists

Jonathan is sitting at the table, coloring with markers and cutting shapes from construction paper.

Thomas is at the piano, flipping through one of my exercise books, and playing and singing.

VBAC bans and legal action - finally!

I don't write on this too often because 1) I'm busy doing kids and daily life and 2) I'm busy writing about kids and daily life and 3) I don't want to spend too much time on controversial issues. However, this is something that is highly important to me, particularly since I've personally run into a similar issue and been unable to really achieve results on my own (sans lawyer). So I do think that this is a great step forward, and I applaud these lawyers for not only assisting the women who come to them, but actively searching out women who need their help standing up to the sometimes-insane obstetric medical community.

Disclaimer: I do not agree with everything these attorneys stand for - far from it! However, I have thought for years that it is odd that feminist groups have not taken up the banner for women's rights in birth, and I am glad to see a step in this direction.

Attorneys responding to VBAC bans in hospitals

You should read the entire post, but here is some of the meat of the text:

I’m a lawyer with the Northwest Women’s Law Center in Seattle. I’m investigating possible legal responses to bans on vaginal birth after cesarean at hospitals in the northwest states Alaska, Idaho, Montana, Washington and Oregon. If you are currently pregnant and want to have a VBAC, but are facing a hospital policy that would require you to have a c-section regardless of whether you want it and regardless of whether it is actually medically necessary, and you are willing to consider working with a lawyer on this, we’d like to talk with you. Please respond to
vbacbanhelp at ican-online dot org.

Makes me wish I lived in one of those states! :) But at least I can help get the information out there. Please, if you care about this issue at all, spread the word!

Toddler development (and good friends!)

Yesterday was a terrible day. We had told Jonathan that we would be going to the park to see fireworks in the evening, and instead of being excited about it he spent the entire day whining and throwing fits because we weren't going NOW. I had planned a relaxed, stay-at-home day (we haven't had one of those in a long time) but by 10:24 I was desperate to get out and do SOMETHING that might keep Jonathan distracted. So when I talked to Ashley and she mentioned that they were on their way to the library for story hour and playtime, and it started in six minutes, I hung up rather abruptly, tossed a few things in the diaper bag, grabbed my keys and the kids and ran for the car. It is quite amazing how quickly you can get the kids out the door when you're desperate. :)

I'm not sure how much the excursion helped Jonathan - it certainly didn't curb the whining for long - but it sure helped me to have a sympathetic and intelligent adult to talk with! Thankfully, Ashley isn't the sort of friend who will just say "aw, that's tough" and leave it at that. Instead, she listened to what had been going on and then asked some insightful, constructive questions: things like "are you challenging him enough at home? Maybe he's bored."

I think she's right. Lately Jonathan has taken to wandering around the house saying "What are we doing next? Where are we going?" He does have some activities that he loves doing (digging in the dirt with his work machines, building with Duplos, etc.) but when I sat down and really thought about it I realized that Jonathan has been flying ahead developmentally, while I'm trying to keep him occupied with play ideas from six months ago.

He loves to be creative, and he loves to be challenged, and I need to work on meeting those very reasonable and good desires!

So this morning he helped me make pancakes for breakfast, and then we got out art supplies and he colored and cut and pasted stickers to his heart's content. The American flag he was working on isn't exactly red, white, and blue, but he sure had fun! For quiet time (which is going on now - hence the blogging!) I brought his Duplos into my room so he could build unmolested. (The biggest problem with Duplo play right now is that Thomas' idea of participating is breaking Jonathan's buildings.)

Granted, Gabe is here this morning and it is always easier to kid-wrangle with two parents. Still, this morning has gone so smoothly it is giving me a lot of hope for next week when I'm on my own. I think I just need to pay more attention to keeping him busy and motivated with activities on his level...and be more alert to what that level actually is.

How do you measure up?

As a 1930's housewife, that is? Apparently I'd have done pretty well back then. :)

102 As a 1930s wife, I am Very Superior Take the test!

Hat tip to Angie!

No really, I'm still here.

My sister called me yesterday. Now, while Sarah and I do talk on the phone occasionally, it isn't something we do every week. So I asked, surprised, "what's up?" Her answer? "Well, you haven't written on your blog in two weeks, so I thought I'd check and make sure you weren't dead."

Oh.

June has completely gotten away from me. It started with an impromptu and completely unexpected trip north to visit my parents and grandparents. I left on June 1st and came back the evening of June 7th. The next four days were spent unpacking, washing nearly everything item of clothing we own, and then re-packing for the (planned!) vacation in Oregon to see Gabe's grandmother and aunt and uncles. We got back from that on the evening of June 15th.

That's when I breathe a sigh of relief and life gets back to normal, right? After all, being out of town for 11 of 15 days is quite enough for one pregnant mother of two toddlers to handle.

I absolutely agree, only I wasn't thinking quite that clearly when I scheduled everything in June. So from the 16th until today, I raced around like a crazy woman, getting Lullaby Slings ready for a summer boutique sale at a local church. Man, it takes a lot of WORK to get a new business off the ground!!

It went beautifully. I had a great time (except for the 100 degree heat - not kidding - which my poor pregnant body wasn't too happy about) and made a new friend and passed out about fifty business cards and sold four slings.

Did you catch that part? I actually SOLD FOUR SLINGS!!!

I caught the entrepreneurial bug from my dad, and boy did this ever feed it. I may never recover. :)

Now that all the craziness of the last three weeks is over, I get to spend the next few days weeks picking up the pieces of my normal life. Like cleaning the house, which hasn't actually happened since, well, sometime in May. And tackling the list of "things I need to do" which has somehow morphed into a very long TWO PAGES of typed text. I'm not quite sure how that happened, except that apparently when you leave a few "to dos" on a list for more than three weeks, they behave like rabbits and multiply exponentially.

I don't think I mind, though. Because it was good to see family. And did I mention that I sold four slings? :)

He's learning!

This morning Jonathan asked to read "a whole stack!" of books for our preschool time together. I was quite happy to oblige - I think that is my favorite request right now because it means I can sit down on the couch. :)

Preschool time is always followed by Quiet Time (i.e. play by yourself in a different room until the timer beeps time). Usually, quiet time is punctuated by many requests to "be done", but today the timer beeped and...no Jonathan. After about five more minutes I went in to check on him.

If he had been wearing any clothing, I'd have taken a picture. :) He was lying on his side on the bed, totally engrossed in a book. I asked him if he'd heard his timer, and reminded him that it was ok for him to come out now. He responded "ok, but just after I finish my story, ok?"

Yay! He's learning to entertain himself! And he's learning to love books! Does it get any better?? :)

Doesn't this look fascinating?

Gabe and I don't generally go see many movies, but there seem to be quite a few really interesting ones coming out in the next few months. Take a look at this trailer - doesn't it look interesting?

Isn't this cute? (updated)

I think I'm getting better at presentation. For example, this is my latest gift package of burp cloths. Cute, yes?

Would you mind being a test group for me, dear readers? Let's say you were buying a set of these for a new mother. What would you consider paying? $10? $12? $14? This particular package is a set of two custom burp cloths, made of washable ribbon on Chinese prefold cloth diapers (chosen due to their superior absorbency).

Alternatively, would you rather have three burp cloths in a set? And if you wanted three, what would you consider a reasonable price: $13? $15? $17?

Please do let me know in the comments - I really value your feedback as I'm working on this business.

Oh, and I have business cards now! Aren't they nice? I think they turned out quite well. Some people have asked for them to give out to friends, and now I have plenty - so if you would like some please just let me know and I'll mail them to you!

And as always, if you want to order something, you can contact me personally or find my items at Lullaby Slings.

(Updated to take out the visible address on the card. Thanks, Jess, for pointing that out!)

Small injuries

Jonathan fell down this morning and slightly skinned both knees. He sniffled a bit and sat on my lap, but after a few minutes brushed himself off and stood up. "Well," he said, "I can't kneel anymore, but I think my brain still works."

Grief

There is a baby up in heaven today. She wasn't mine, but I loved her and I prayed for her and I wanted her to be mine. Her mother listened to the devil's whispers and believed the lie of the "easy way out". Just some tissue, just a problem to be taken care of. Over in a few hours. I ask God to care for this little one, and I know that he will. I want to ask him for forgiveness for the mother, but I'm not enough like Christ to do that yet. I can't even think about forgiveness for the doctor.

Little one, you are so loved. Be safe in the arms of Jesus.

I need a manageable number of good ideas

Specifically, I need ideas for fun things to do with Jonathan during our mostly-daily preschool time. I've given up looking for ideas online, because the result is a massive overload of ideas, as well as lots of guilt for not being more creative/loving/involved/crafty/etc. The problem with not looking up new ideas, however, is that I've become bored with the ones we're currently cycling through. I'm looking for things that can be finished in about 20 minutes or so, and that don't take a ton of prep and/or cleanup. Also, I am TERRIBLE at crafts. So keep 'em simple, please.

And please, please, please don't direct me to a website, no matter how wonderful, that has ten million ideas all in one place. Seriously, I just can't handle it. :)

Meditation

Jenni at One Thing has written a beautiful meditation on nursing infants and our response to God's feeding. Take a few moments and savor it.

Not-so-little things

I'm in the process of applying for Cal-COBRA health insurance. This has been a headache from the first, particularly since we didn't expect to need to pay for it! After a month, however, we've made some decisions and figured out what we need to do, and Gabe faxed the paperwork in yesterday. I called this morning, just to be sure that the fax had gone through and check if there was anything else I needed to do to make the process go smoothly. There is an early June deadline for squaring it all away, so we really don't want any surprises this late in the game.

I talked to a lovely woman named Veronica, who assured me that she had our application there, and directed me to call back about payment on Tuesday when our information would have been entered into the computer. I thanked her and hung up. About an hour later, Veronica called me back, asking for clarification regarding Thomas' coverage. Given the track record of our insurance company, this is nothing short of miraculous. Ten minutes on the phone resulted in the realization that the paper she had in front of her was NOT the same one we had faxed yesterday, and she was able to track down the correct paperwork. She's entering us into the system right now, and I feel such relief that someone who cared enough to check on a discrepancy is working on our file.

It's a little thing. Only it isn't little at all - because it could have been another employee and we might not have found out about the problem until it was too late. I'd rather not have to deal with the COBRA headache at all, but since we do, I'm glad to know that God is watching over us even in these little and not-so-little things.

Weather

I really ought to live in Oregon or Washington. My day got so much brighter when the storm rolled in! :)

"Reading"

Best viewed with a copy of Moo, Baa, La La La handy:

Worth supporting

Have you heard about Mercy Ministries? Mercy is a worldwide charity that runs homes for girls in crisis. Girls struggling with eating disorders, self-harm, drug and alcohol addictions, sexual abuse, depression, or unplanned pregnancies can come to these homes free of charge to get help that is firmly grounded in Christ.

As far as I know, only Mercy currently offers this, and it is oh, so very needed.

When I was in college, I had some friends with troubles like these. One of them went (with family support and insurance coverage) to a center that charged something like $1000 a day. From what I could tell, it helped, but not entirely. Another went to Mercy, free of charge, and came back transformed. She had some difficulty transitioning back into the "real world", but overall I was blown away by the change in her life. (Mercy has since improved their transitional care services.)

I've been supporting Mercy Ministries ever since, in thanksgiving for her life and in hopeful prayer for those girls who will be helped in the future.

And now, I am so excited to hear that a California home is nearly complete and scheduled to open by the end of this year!!! Every home that opens means fewer girls on the waiting list and more getting the help they need. And a home on the west coast means that it will be that much easier for girls who live here to get help (moving to Tennessee from California is rather a big deal!) Mercy is hoping to be able to remain debt free while finishing building the California home. Would you consider making a donation to help in this endeavor? You can also become a monthly ministry partner, or choose to sponsor a specific girl in need.

The need is great, and Mercy is doing an incredible job meeting that need and covering it with the love of Christ.

Some days

Some days are not so great. Today is one of them.

1) I found out this morning that my voice students are going to be gone all summer. This wouldn't be so bad except that it is the third in a string of difficulties that have cropped up. The first was switching from a payment to a barter system. The second was a long and unanticipated "vacation" from lessons due to illness on both sides and a trip out of town. Today was the first week back (to normal, I thought) and it turns out that I've only got two weeks to work with them before they stop for two months. Meanwhile I'll be getting more and more pregnant and less than two months after they return I'll have a new baby to juggle, and I just don't know how I'll pull this off. It is disappointing and frustrating because I LOVE teaching these girls. It is something I look forward to every week and I'm sad that it isn't working out very well right now.

2) I'm tired of being tired. I want my energy back! To do homemaking the way I want to, I need to be able to devote time to my children (including specific time for preschool, play, and reading out loud), and errands, and home upkeep chores, and "extras" like gardening, sewing, and working on photo albums. Ideally I'd be able to find a balance between these, and there have been a few times when I felt like it was happening. Like, oh, right before I got pregnant with Thomas. And, well, right before I got pregnant with this little boy. Sigh. Pregnancy derails my best efforts, every time, and for at least 15 months!

I do think that my priorities at least are in order. I do a darn good job taking care of the kids. Today we had breakfast, cleaned up a bit, did some laundry, played outside, I taught voice lessons, we had lunch, watered the garden, played with playdough, and read books. I'm not at all a failure at the mothering part of life right now - it just seems like this is the sum total that I can actually manage, and it is SUCH. HARD. WORK. to make that much happen.

So when 2pm comes, and I think "ok, now I can tackle that list of things I've been meaning to do or need to do or want to do..." and then somehow I end up crashing onto the couch or my bed or (worse) slouching at the computer pretending to get something done and actually just putzing and making myself feel worse.

The fact is that I'm tired, and I don't want to be tired. I want to somehow find or create the energy needed to do those chores that have been nagging me for the past week, because I will be happier when they are done. I'd like to pull the sewing machine out and actually finish that baby blanket I've been pseudo-working-on for the past month, except that it sounds like so much effort to do it! I did finally finish the photo project I'd been working on (isn't it amazing what you can do when you suddenly have a deadline! Seriously, the tyranny of the urgent!) :) I've also been meaning to take a hard look at our "schedule" (read: very loose routine!) and change some things, but do you have any idea how daunting that sounds when you already feel like you can't meet the demands of the current one?

3) I seem to be having another skirmish in the battle with my perception of food and weight. I like food, and I can certainly enjoy special things like the birthday dinner I had last night, but day to day eating is becoming hard again. I rather wish someone would just hand me a daily menu and say "follow these rules and eat these specific things." As it is, I spend far too much time mentally arguing back and forth over whether I'm really hungry, and if I am, what I ought to be eating, and wouldn't it just be better to skip this snack because remember that the scale is going up quite a bit faster than 1 lb a week...and by the time this argument has played out I'm feeling sick from a blood sugar crash and nothing healthy sounds good anyway.

See? Some days are just bad days. But I'm going to remember that I have two more happy weeks of voice lessons, and that if the house isn't clean at least we read "What's Wrong, Little Pookie?" six times today. And I'm going to go take a look at that schedule plan after all. And I'm going to talk to my midwife about food. Maybe she'll make that menu for me. :) The laundry will get done, and tonight we'll sing lullabies to our boys (all three of them!) and life will look brighter in the morning.

Shutterfly happiness

I've spent the past few days working on finishing Thomas' first year photo book, as well as uploading digital photos that I wanted to print through Shutterfly. I was in a hurry because they have a free shipping promotion going on (it is going on through midnight tonight, if you want to stay up late and take advantage of it!)

Before I submitted my order, I checked RetailMeNot to see if there were some other coupon codes available. There were! I ended up using FOUR coupon codes (Shutterfly lets you stack offers!) and paid $30 for an order that originally totaled $60.

If you want to see an online copy of the photo book, send me an email (or comment) and I'll send you a link. It turned out beautifully.


(No, they aren't paying me for this little "advertisement". :) I just really like their products, and I really like their discounts!)

Obedience

For some time now I've been thinking about taking the boys with me to a mid-week mass. I've done it before, periodically: once when I was very pregnant with Jonathan and once with him in tow. I believe both were part of Lenten disciplines. I remember being glad that I'd gone, and liking the new structure to my week, and realizing that receiving the sacrament of Christ's body and blood more frequently really did make a difference in my daily life with Jesus. But somehow the discipline never stuck. The first time I had a baby at the end of Lent, and everything went out the window. I don't remember why I didn't stick with it the second time, although I imagine that changing nap schedules probably had something to do with it.

It is always something, isn't it? There is always something perfectly reasonable that makes it difficult to make time for Jesus.

Anyway, this past Lent I thought about adding a mid-week mass, but I didn't. The only one that didn't interrupt nap schedules was Tuesday morning, and Tuesday is my errand day. More specifically, Tuesday is my grocery shopping day, which isn't something easily skipped. I couldn't figure out how to get to mass and two grocery stores and whatever other errands always seem to crop up. Still, the nagging thought remained. Not only is it good for me to go to church more often, but mid-week masses are perfect teaching opportunities for Jonathan. They are short services that he can be expected to sit through; we all sit in the choir loft up front so he can see exactly what is happening and be more involved in it; it is a small group of parishioners and no one seems to mind my whispered explanations.

I'm sure you get the picture by now: I know exactly what I ought to do, but it just seems so hard!

And so we come to this morning. I had laid out a carefully planned route of errands. The thrift store, the recycle center, Henry's Marketplace, and Ralphs. With no dawdling and a little luck, I could get them all done between Thomas' morning nap and Jonathan's afternoon nap, and use a minimal amount of gas to do it all.

Thomas slept later than I expected, so we got on the road later than I had hoped. Still, I thought we could do it if I pushed Jonathan's nap a little later than usual. It would work. All our gear was stashed in the car - thrift donations, recycles, lunch, snacks, toys - and we were off. As I drove toward the freeway I noticed the time: 11:21am. Mass started in nine minutes.

I did not want to go to mass. I was seriously annoyed that I had even noticed that it was possible.

"I don't have time, God. This very carefully planned trip will completely fall apart if I don't stick to the schedule."
"Emily, go to mass."
"I can't, God, don't you understand how tricky it is to fit everything in between naps?"
"I do. Go to mass. It will be ok."
"There is no way I can get to the grocery stores if I do this."
"That's ok. Go to mass."
"But I'm trying so hard to be a good steward of our gas money, and I planned the trip so carefully, and now you're asking me to just scrap it all and let the chips fall where they may?"
"Exactly."

At this point we were on the freeway, on our way either to church or the thrift shop, depending on the exit I chose. And Jonathan piped up, "Oh Mommy, are we going to church?!"

I sighed and headed for church.

I'm so glad that I did. The boys were angels during the service. Jonathan paid attention and copied my kneeling and standing during the prayers. Thomas was thrilled that we were seated right next to the Christ the King crucifix - he kept pointing to it and grinning and saying "Jee-da!" And somehow, instead of feeling frustrated and stressed by this derailment of my day, I found myself peaceful and prayerful and glad. During a prayer where we offer up our "sacrifice of prayer and thanksgiving" I mentally added, "and obedience, God. This morning is for you."

It is for him, you know. I don't have ownership over my time and my plans, although I generally think I do. They belong to God, and if he asks me to change them, or even just drop everything to come to mass, then it is my job to obey.

And such obedience often brings lovely blessings. No, I didn't get the grocery shopping done. No, I don't know when I'll do it. But instead of a hurried, stressful morning, we had a relaxed, pleasant morning. After mass we went over to Starbucks, just for the fun of it. The boys ate whipped cream off a straw and I ignored the clock and just enjoyed my two beautiful boys. They aren't impediments to my life, although sometimes it feels that way when I'm trying to fit things in around their naps - they are priceless gifts. Taking time to just look at them and enjoy their smiles was exactly what I should have done this morning. We did go to the thrift store, where I dropped off our donations and picked out two pairs of shorts for the boys, a dress shirt for Gabe, a Sandra Boynton board book, and maternity pants and shorts for me, all for less than $20. I think God was smiling on us, don't you? :) And we did get the recycling dropped off before heading home. Now the boys are having much-needed naps, and I'm blogging because I want to remember today. Obedience doesn't always make sense. But it is always the right thing to do, and sometimes it brings unexpected beauty instead of just unexpected inconvenience.

Lord, thank you for your persistent nudging today. Help me always to be obedient.

Baptism Celebration!

We celebrated Jonathan's baptism this evening. A day early, but the logistics worked out much better this way!

First, he helped decorate. We spread a lace tablecloth, filled vases with red flowers, and then took apart a few of the flowers to make petals. Jonathan thought this was lots of fun.



He got to toss the petals across the table, with splendid results.



See? Isn't that a pretty celebration table?



Then we all sat down and read the Pentecost story in The Jesus Storybook Bible. That is an amazing book; if you have children you should own it.



Tongues of fire!



Jonathan listened pretty intently.



We also said the baptismal vows from the Book of Common Prayer together.



Dinner was spaghetti (red sauce!) and we followed it up with spicy cinnamon candy. Yum.



I'm really happy with the way the evening turned out. It was low-key and yet celebratory and special. I think Jonathan enjoyed it. I'm already looking forward to doing this for Thomas' baptismal day next spring!

Pentecost and baptismal celebrations

Pentecost is coming up! For us, this means celebrating both Pentecost and Jonathan's baptismal day. Because our children are baptized as infants, we want to celebrate their baptismal days each year. The day that they became part of the family of God should be a special remembrance and a celebration, not just something that happened back before they could remember it! We think that if we're intentional about celebrating each year, we'll be teaching our children to value their position as children of God and understand membership in the Body of Christ more and more as they grow. We also hope that by remembering baptismal days, our children will never feel like they "missed out" on adult baptism.

Here are the things I'm currently planning for our first celebration. Some are specifically related to Pentecost, and some specifically to Jonathan's baptism. Together I think it will be a really nice way to observe the day!

* Red rose petals scattered on the table (to represent flames)

* Wooden birds to hang over the table (to represent the Holy Spirit - although I'm having a really hard time finding any! Does anyone know where to get plain carved wooden birds in flight?)

* Cinnamon hearts for dessert (spicy food is traditional on Pentecost, but my kids do NOT like spicy food. This compromise seems like a good one, since I'm pretty sure they won't object to spicy candy!)

* A white candle on the table (to remind Jonathan of his baptismal candle)

* Re-reading the baptismal vows together as a family.

* Looking at pictures from Jonathan's baptism and talking about what happened that day.

The first three ideas came from Jessica, who wrote a great post about celebrating Pentecost at Homemaking Through the Church Year. Thanks, Jessica! You've made my job easier!

Anyone else have suggestions?