I'm officially in the home stretch - the final month (ok, maybe the final 5 weeks). But I can see the end more clearly now, and I'm finding myself doing a lot more thinking about the upcoming birth, as opposed to current aches and pains. Although trust me, there are plenty of those, too. :)
Some days I'm supremely confident. Some days I cry myself to sleep because I'm so scared. As my midwife pointed out, both make sense. I can be reasonably terrified of labor because I know what to expect. Whoever said that you forget what pain feels like apparently hadn't ever given birth. I remember just fine. But I can also be reasonably confident because I have already delivered a baby and I know that I can.
This baby is in a perfect position - head down, tiny butt centered above my belly button, anterior, and as of two days ago, dropped quite low into my pelvis. Somehow the very centered-ness of the baby is helping me feel more centered myself. I'm finding it easier to imagine him more-or-less gently emerging into the world.
September is crammed full of busyness. A wedding, a trip to Oak Glenn, Thomas' surgery, a meeting in Los Angeles, something else I can't remember right now, and all the usual daily things that need to get done. At some point it might be a good idea to get out some baby clothes, too. :) I looked at my calendar recently and thought "I did not plan this well!" because we are so busy that no matter when Josiah decides to show up, it will probably disrupt something! Still, in some ways I'd rather be busy and let things be disrupted, rather than clearing my schedule and waiting for a baby who refuses to show up. :)
As always, I'm having tons of contractions that really don't bear a lot of resemblence to the "painless tightening" described in the books as Braxton Hicks. When they're spaced far apart I remember that I'll likely have an October baby. Today they're about ever 15 minutes and I start thinking "well...?"
We'll see. I certainly wouldn't object to an early baby, although THIS early might not be so good. I'd rather get through Thomas' surgery first!
This is a rather rambling post, but that is the state of my brain right now so I'm afraid it is what you get!