Jonathan repeats everything repeats everything.
Repeats everything. I've had to really learn to watch my tongue, because if a frustrated "gosh darn" slips out, you can be sure that in a few minutes Jonathan will be merrily shouting "gosh darn! gosh darn!" And you know, hearing it from a toddler instead of in your own mouth really makes you realize what you do and do not want to be saying!
This past week the asphalt has been replaced in our complex. This has been cause for great annoyance and difficulty for all the adults (try to get two sleeping children into the house, WITH the groceries, when you have to park 1/4 mile away!) but unbelievable excitement for the toddlers. We've spent quite a bit of time down watching the WORK MACHINES! THAT ARE NOISY! AND THE ROLLER! AND THE DUMP TRUCK AND THE FRONT LOADER! THEY MOVE THE DIRT! It just doesn't get much better than that if you're a two-year-old boy.
This weekend Gabe and I went out on a date for the first time in, oh, probably close to a year. It was SO nice. We held hands and kissed as we walked to the car. It was such a strange and free feeling to NOT be carrying diaper bags and children. We kissed and held hands in the restaurant. We looked at each other while conversing. We kissed and held hands and cuddled in the movie theater. And I remembered what it felt like when we were just married and totally focused on each other and in the dreamy stage of new love. You know, that stage was nice! And it was nice to get a few hours away to just be spouses.
I wouldn't trade my kids for anything. But parenting is a very hard job, and it takes pretty much all of our hours right now. By the time Thomas finally goes to sleep, Gabe and I are more than ready for sleep, too, not long conversations looking dreamily into each others' eyes. So it is easy for us to focus completely on parenting and forget that, hey, we LOVE each other! But the fact is that we do. And we're more than just good parenting partners, we're also (working on!) being good spouses.
I think that right now, in the midst of diapers and laundry and tantrums and nursing and laundry and potty training and whining and more nursing and more laundry, parenting does usually need to come first. It is not the time for a passionate kiss when Jonathan is hitting the baby. We're in the stage of life where the kids are of necessity a priority. But this stage will end, someday. And when it does, I want to be sure that I remember that my husband is more than a great parenting partner.
Date nights are a good way to remember that.
3 comments:
Not having kids, you may disagree with me, but it seems to me that in order to be a good parent, you first have to be a good spouse, even if the toddler is hitting the baby.
"Date nights are a good way to remember that."
Hear, hear! We have always made date nights a priority, even when all we could afford besides the sitter was a shared dessert and a walk together.
It's easier now that our kids are older--but still so important for us.
Jeanne
Rebecca, I agree with you - which is why we make time for the occasional date night out. I also didn't mention that we have weekly date nights "in" as well.
However, I do maintain that passionate kissing is not the order of the moment when one kid is trying to maim the other.
Post a Comment