And then I had kids.
Part of it is the oh-so-strong temptation to stay up too late. That's the only time I have to myself or with my husband. It is quiet. It is short. And so I stay up longer than I should, and even half an hour makes itself known in the morning.
Most of it is the multiple night wakings. And those are a problem right now! Josiah is waking so frequently that I lose track of what time it is, how long it has been, and sometimes wake to find him in the bed and wonder how he got there (obviously I must have put him there, but I have no memory of it - it is incredibly worrisome). He has decided that the only way to go back to sleep is to nurse: not for food but simply for comfort. Sometimes he'll latch, not suck, and go back to sleep. Oy!
So that has to stop, and as of last night I'm trying to teach him that snuggles are quite enough. But I'm so groggy that sometimes I defeat my own efforts: last night I looked at the clock, took Josiah to bed to nurse, and realized afterward that 11:30pm was NOT 1:30am. That time he got to nurse after one hour instead of three. Aghh!
I used to feel good in the morning. I remember thinking that the mornings were the best time to get things done. But now I just feel this overwhelming torpor. Everything sounds too difficult to even start. Dishes? Blech. I'm tired. Breakfast for the kids? Well, ok, but only to stop them fussing at me. Chores, and a walk, and playtime with the kids? Sigh. I do get myself going, but it takes so much willpower now, and even then I don't feel good until nearly 10am.
I miss my energy.