Monday, September 04, 2006


Moms & Dads for Modesty
Mission Statement

  • As a Mom or Dad for Modesty I believe in common-sense modesty for girls and young women.
  • I believe in refraining from sexualizing our girls and young women.
  • I believe that it is unwise and unfair to taunt boys and young men by permitting my daughter(s) to dress in an immodest manner.
  • I believe that true beauty comes from within and I strive to teach my daughter(s) this truth.
  • I will loyally shop at retailers that provide girls' and young womens clothing that is modest, affordable and stylish.

This is a pretty neat idea. I don't have a girl yet, but if/when I do, I'll want to be supporting retailers who make pretty, modest clothes for her. I'm guessing that most of my readers feel the same way, so go check out Everyday Mommy and join the conversation.


Rebecca said...

A thought - I don't like how the modesty/lust issue polarizes around women's/girls' dress. I think that

(a) Men and boys should be modest too. I'm not going to lie, I've had my lusty moments while watching shirtless men play sports. I think that the licentiousness of women as well as men these days ought to indicate that women are capable of being just as lustful as men, if less often. To only talk about modesty with our daughters (as though causing lust were a female problem and not a human problem) is rather sexist.

(b) I don't like it when modesty advocates (inadvertently or not!) make the "immodest" party responsible for the "lustful" party's sin. The point of dressing modestly is to remove temptation - but being tempted to sin, and giving into that sin are different things. I might consider my loose blue-jeans, rainbow sandals, and button down shirt with long sleeves and an undershirt to be modest, but someone from an Islamic culture would not - does that make me responsible for their lust? Because if we concede the guilt issue to the woman, then the only real way to avoid inciting lust in men is the Burqa.

Amber said...

Rebecca, you've stated exactly what's been bothering me all day about this idea. There's nothing here about teaching boys how to dress modestly or about teaching boys to react modestly to an immodest situation. It seems to me that all the responsibility for modesty ends up on the girl's side and the boys just get a "boys will be boys" treatment.

Granted, there are a lot of hideous and offensive clothes offered for sale to all ages of girls and women, but there are so many different ideas about what constitutes modest clothing! For example, Everyday Mommy cites Old Navy as a place for modest clothing, but I think much of their clothing is completely inappropriate, especially their young girls clothing.

Emily said...

I absolutely agree that boys/men should be held responsible for their actions and thoughts. While I can't speak for Everyday Mommy's intentions, my own interest in this is more focused on being disgusted with the fashion trends for girls these days. Haven't you seen the little toddlers with crop tops and short shorts on? Or the eight year old with "too sexy" emblazoned across her non-developed chest? It is pathetic and horrible and I would love to be part of encouraging designers to make more appropriate clothing lines for little girls.

Linds said...

The 'too sexy' is overboard (though remember, to our modern audience, 'sexy' means 'cute'), but crop tops and short shorts aren't sexual on a little girl - they're cute, like those little knickers little boys used to wear in the '40s. In fact, it wasn't until I was engaged that I wore a two piece swimsuit since I was a toddler.

What should scare us are the people that are aroused by a three year old girl in a crop top.

You know, I was always on the front line charge of the modesty debate, and until a very wise, godly man told me that he was ashamed of his sex for placing their sin on their sisters' shoulders. That changed how I view the issue pretty drastically -- not that I'm justifying being a hussie or anything, but I'm beginning to think we're doing more damage than good with the whole way the Church views the modesty debate.

Emily said...

"though remember, to our modern audience, 'sexy' means 'cute'"

Yeah but think about that for a minute. "Sexy" does NOT mean "cute", and it shouldn't. Just because our modern culture has equated the two doesn't mean we should roll over and say "oh, well I guess it's ok then."

I'm NOT saying that guys have no responsibility. I think men and women have equal responsibility, and I think both genders have horrifically fallen down on the job. As a woman and a (someday) mother of daughters, I'd like to try to fix part of the problem with my own gender. (And, of course, teach my son well as well!)