Sunday, May 29, 2005


I forgot to mention that Jonathan has discovered faces. He'll pick them out of a room full of things to look at...tonight at VA girls I noticed that he was switching between looking at my face and at Jessica's. He definitely knows that faces are for looking at.

He also likes looking at himself in the mirror. I'm not sure what he thinks it is, except that I guess he recognizes it as a face, but he does really like it. I let him look at himself every morning after he has his sponge bath, and always say "There is Mommy, and that is Jonathan" when I see his eyes focus on one of us. I wonder when self-knowledge comes, enough that he could understand such a concept?

Baby Mine

Jonathan has decided that he’s old enough to be charming. Last night he responded to my smile with a huge grin of his own. It actually made up for the fact that I was awake at two in the morning. Baby smiles are irresistible, particularly when they are directed at you with something in the eyes that says they’re meant for you, and not the product of a bubble in the tummy. He’s also making more and more cooing sounds when he’s happy, combined with great facial expressions that just make you want to watch him and talk back for hours. I particularly enjoy him in the morning, because he usually has an hour or two of exceedingly happy time, and we can sing songs and play games and “talk” to each other to my heart’s content.

In other news, Jonathan is holding his head up so much more effectively now! I’m spending some time each day doing “tummy time”, usually with him lying on top of me so he doesn’t feel abandoned. It’s so fun to watch him push up with his arms and try to hold his head up to look around. He’s got a good 45 degree angle now, which is exactly on target, at least according to “What to Expect the First Year”. And every day he can do it for just a few seconds longer.

He’s getting so big…on Wednesday he had an appointment with the pediatrician, and he weighs 11 pounds, 11 ounces. He’s my big, healthy, chubby tummy baby. :)

It’s good to be a mom.

Thursday, May 26, 2005

Two years!

Gabe and I have been married for two years now. Two years simultaneously seems like an incredibly long time, and also next to nothing. Usually it seems short when I compare it to "until we are parted by death" which will hopefully be a long time from now, and long when I compare it to my life so far.

We celebrated by leaving Jonathan with Sarah and Libby, (yay for aunts!) and spending the afternoon and evening watching Star Wars and having dinner at the Cheesecake Factory. Good fun, the best company. :)

I like where we are right now. It was fun to be was nice to be a more established "couple"...and now it is good and right and wonderful to be a family.

I am so heart-glad to be married to Gabe.

My sister is visiting...

and I made dinner with two hands tonight, without reaching around a baby sling. It's great to have another pair of hands and arms around! :)

Besides, I like my sister.

Friday, May 20, 2005

Child of the Covenant

Jonathan was baptized last Sunday, on Pentacost. It was a beautiful service, and my fear that he would scream throughout the event did not come to pass. As silly as I know it to be, it did seem like it would have been such a bad beginning to scream when you’re brought into the body of Christ! But he did not scream…in fact, even his slight fussiness quieted when Gabe handed him to Father David.

I love the baptismal service. And the fact that it was Pentacost made it even better. It’s the one day in the whole year when the liturgical color is red, and the whole church is bright and vivid and alive with it. Appropriate, as the Holy Spirit is “the Lord, the giver of life.” I love how the promises are made, not only by (or in this case, for) the one being baptized, but also by the whole congregation. We all renew our own baptismal covenant during the service, and it’s such an amazing thing to have the whole church repeating the Apostle’s Creed together. “Do you believe in one God?” “I believe in one God, the Father Almighty, Creator of heaven and earth” etc… There is something good and awesome and powerful in the body of Christ here on earth. As broken and fallen and impure as we are, Christ truly is present here in us. And now there is one more child of God in His covenant. We have promised to raise Jonathan to know God – he will, of course, have to make his own decision whether or not to follow God as he grows up – but our promise brings him into the covenant of the faithful just as circumcision brought each new baby into God’s covenant with the Israelites. There is something good and strong and safe in that knowledge. God’s grace is given, not by Jonathan’s merit or even his choice at this point, but simply given because God is love, and he loves his children and looks with favor and forgiveness on us, his church.

"I wanna be in the light..."

Jonathan loves looking at lights. He’ll watch the light in our bedroom when I’m nursing him, and he particularly likes looking at the window over our bed in the morning when it’s bright. He'll be happy for as much as twenty minutes, just staring at it! I’ve taken to singing him the DC Talk song “I wanna be in the light”.

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

Caffeine is a stimulant.

I tend to forget this fact, as my body doesn’t react to it. But it turns out that Jonathan doesn’t share this trait with me! Yesterday I treated myself to a cherry mocha from It’s A Grind. I drank about half of it in the afternoon and the rest in the evening after dinner. Now, normally this would not be a problem, because for the last ten months I have conscientiously remembered to request my coffee decaffeinated. Unfortunately for us, this time I forgot. The result was that Jonathan slept in the evening, and then woke up on a caffeine high at 1am, 3am, and 5am, refusing to nurse back to sleep at each of these times. What a night! Of course, by the time morning came and I could think a bit more calmly, I realized what had happened and could laugh (a very little) at myself.

The result of this experiment with caffeine in young infants is that he, and I, have slept on and off most of the day. I hope this doesn’t ruin his concept of day and night again!

By the way, I do mean to blog about Jonathan’s baptism. I just haven’t had enough time to sit down and think about it very much yet. If I forget, post in the comments and remind me.

Thursday, May 12, 2005


I noticed something this past week. I think that Jonathan is learning that nighttime is for sleeping. Previously, when we wanted to go to bed we pretty much had to wait until Jonathan fell asleep. If he wasn’t asleep pretty completely, he would just wake up as soon as we got in bed, and then he’d cry and we’d have to hold his pacifier for him until he fell back asleep. Or nurse him more, even though I know he’d really had enough to eat. But for the past two nights, when we’ve gone to bed he’s been wide awake, and we just settled him between us and cuddled him, and he went to sleep along with us. So…is that a fluke, or is this a learned behavior? I hope that he’s learning that bed and darkness mean it’s time to sleep!

Monday, May 09, 2005


Jonathan just succeeded in putting his pacifier back in his mouth. Twice. He's been working on that for a few days now, but hadn't quite accomplished it until tonight. What a clever son we have!

"I think I could grow foolishly fond of every part of him..."

Jonathan is getting so big! It’s hard for me to believe how much he’s grown in the one short month he’s been here. Gabe and I weighed him the other day and we think he’s about 10.5lbs now. That’s a four pound gain in four weeks!

He’s learning so much – every day, even every hour it seems like he learns something new. He’s looking around so much more now, and I think he’s really seeing things. I also think he’s beginning to recognize things, or at least to recognize us. Tonight Gabe was holding him, and he was crying because he was hungry. I walked in the room, and when he saw me he looked at me and quieted down a bit. It’s interesting how his eyes look different when they’re actually seeing you.

He has so many facial expressions, too. It is fascinating just to watch his face, because it is so mobile. He can look so sad, or puzzled, or interested, or wondering, or pleased, or blissfully happy, or any other myriad of possibilities.

And the newest thing is that he’s making ‘baby sounds’ now. Before this week he really only was silent or crying or fussing. But now, when he’s happy and comfortable, he’ll make cooing sorts of sounds. They’re higher and happier than the fussing, and much more varied. I love his baby sounds.

I think I love everything about him. He makes me foolishly happy. Except I don’t really think it’s foolish. :)

Thursday, May 05, 2005

Sleep, glorious sleep!

Last night Jonathan slept for five hours. FIVE HOURS! We went to bed at 10pm, hoped not to be awakened until 2am, and were gloriously surprised to find that it was 3am when he woke us up to feed and change him. What a difference a full sleep cycle makes in your outlook on dirty diapers and middle of the night feedings.

Speaking of diapers, Jonathan doesn’t look nearly so silly in his cloth diapers anymore. When we first brought him home and started using them, he looked positively ridiculous. There was this huge pudgy round white diaper, with a tiny little torso and toothpick legs sticking out of either side of it. Now, however, he’s looking much more normal. Cloth diapers will always look pudgier than their disposable alternatives, but as Jonathan’s body is filling out he does seem to match the diaper size a bit better.

Gosh, but he’s getting big. I can’t believe how different he looks from the tiny infant we brought home from the hospital. Sometimes I look at him and I just want to stop time, or make it go backward…freeze things so that he stays little and perfect. It’s just a little frightening to realize that this time of his life, and of mine, is so fleeting. Then again, I also look at him and enjoy dreaming of what and who he will be someday…and I look forward to him being three and talking, and six and starting school, and ten and playing ball with his dad, and twelve and, and, and. Maybe it’s just as well that I can’t stop time.

In other news, Jonathan is getting better at finding his hands. Last night he brought his hand up to his pacifier and gripped it, three times. He certainly doesn’t have the ability to control them well, but I do think he’s getting the idea that he can control them, at least a little, and could make them useful in getting what he wants.