Thursday, November 11, 2010

Worn wheels

Have you ever watched Thomas the Tank engine videos with your children? There is one episode where another engine plays a trick on Thomas, and he has to run much faster and much farther than he usually does. "Oh dear, oh dear," he says, "my wheels shall be quite worn out!"

That's kind of how I feel right now.

When we started home schooling in September, we were ok...barely. I remember telling a friend that I was doing well, but I felt like I was balancing a lot of spinning plates and if anything extra happened, they'd all come crashing down.

You know what? Extra stuff happens. In the past few months, a LOT of extra stuff has happened. An extra, unplanned Wednesday night meeting (ongoing for 13 weeks). Sewing for Halloween. Doctor's appointments. Potlucks for which I need to bake. My grandmother's death. Decisions about her belongings. Family in town for her service. Sewing for (and being at) a boutique sale that I planned months before all of this happened. Endless phone calls regarding Josiah's speech therapy and insurance coverage. Endless letters and calls regarding an incorrectly billed $500 medical bill. A three day conference that took Gabe away from home. An afternoon spent swapping summer clothes for winter clothes.

My kitchen is a mess. My bed isn't made. There are half-filled clothing boxes in my living room awaiting laundered summer clothes, some of which are lying wrinkled on the couch (the rest are in the mile-high pile, along with sheets and blankets from two recently wet beds.) My desk is full of stuff, most of which I should probably put away or file or do something about.

Because it is a holiday, the neighbor children are outside playing with my kids. And I know that I should take advantage of this time, to keep the laundry moving and wash all my dishes and bake bread and clean the bathroom.

But I think that my wheels are quite worn out.


Matthew Green said...

An old teacher of mind frequently said, "Sometimes sleep is the most spiritual thing you can do." I suspect rest qualifies, too.

Ma Torg said...

So sorry, Emily. You've had so much on your plate you have reason to have worn wheels! I've had those kind of days myself since homeschooling and the new rule Jesse has prescribed is that I have to allow the house to get messy during those times of fatigue and craziness and just learn to not worry about it.

I've found I've had to do a lot of readjustment of my own expectations of myself since taking over the role of teacher. Maybe you need to just draw some boundaries for a bit and allow yourself time to recover?

Emily (Laundry and Lullabies) said...

You know, Ma Torg, trying to keep the house clean is for ME primarily. I can't relax in a mess - it makes me crazy. It does seem like it would make sense to let it be the first thing to go, but I feel like I've already done that to the extent that I CAN (you know, before the health department shows up!) ;)...and so now what?? Argh!

ACMe said...

I know my schedule isn't terribly open, but I'm willing to come over and help out with whatever you need me to do (completely free! :D). So if you want, just let me know and I'll see how to make it work.