I had big plans for today. A list of errands that criss-crossed six cities, a list of chores at home, a list of phone calls and emails that needed to be attended to.
In other words, I had insane expectations.
I have those quite frequently, unfortunately. And when I try to live up to them, I stress myself out, and then stress my children out as I bark at them to "hurry up" and move at a stressed out grown-up's pace. It wasn't a good morning.
By the time I dropped Jonathan off at school (and I did remember to stop and kiss him, I'm glad of that) I was starting to realize that my plans for the day weren't really going to work out. Still, we headed off to the first errand on my list, the one that was supposed to take 20 minutes before driving across town to the next one. An hour later I shook my head at myself and scrapped my insane plans.
We went to the library. Thomas sat on my lap during story hour, and Josiah sat smack in the middle of the crowd of kids, and both enjoyed themselves thoroughly. I read a book, snuggled my son, and remembered that I like my kids. On the way home the boys asked to stop at a park, and since there no longer was a plan, we did just that. The sun came out. Thomas made friends with a little boy his age, all by himself (a first)! I taught Josiah how to climb up and down a tricky ladder, and then sat on a park bench and ate chocolate.
I still have a very long list. But you know what? I don't really care. I'm choosing to remember that I also have many, many days to run errands. There is always tomorrow, and the day after that, and maybe some of them don't really need to be done anyway. My kids are little and need their days filled with stories at the library and sunshine at the park. Come to think of it, I kind of prefer my days to be filled with stories and sunshine, too.
In about an hour we'll go pick up Jonathan from school. I will say "I'm sorry" for being a grouchy mama all morning. And perhaps we'll get ice cream cones on the way home.